What are you TRYING to do these days?

 

TRYING.

As part of my job, I am in a position to often see how people show up, how they bring themselves to a workout, through a workout or challenge or race in ways both physical and mental.

One of my favorite quotes (from my favorite movie, Serendipity) is, “The Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they had one sentence, “Did they live with passion?”  I was reminded this week, in a similarly succinct question, that succeeding often means- “Did you try?”

**Funny note - immediately after I heard this reminder about success being a result of trying and effort, I was running sprints, saw someone I knew who said, “are you sprinting?!” and I yelled out, “I’m TRYING!” HA!  It hit me right away- that I know who I am- I am always in the effort, always trying.  I’m a person, if I decide something is worthwhile, I give it my all, I try fully.

Now, on the flip side, the word “try” is also a trigger for me!  BECAUSE- there is nothing that drives me crazier than hearing someone approaching a task or something and they say, “I’ll try.” AND YOU KNOW RIGHT AWAY, that is their escape.  They have already not done the thing. They won’t finish/complete/whatever the task is because they already gave themselves the “out”- that instead of saying, “I will” they say, “I’ll try.”  Ohhhh trigger to my heart! So, I think it is rather interesting that I also feel like the action of trying can very well be a marker of success.

It all depends, right?  It depends on what the TRYING looks like, and what the heart behind the words “I’ll try” means. I believe it is a good thing to ask ourselves the question, “What are the things I’m trying to do in my life right now.” What direction are we intending to be headed? We are always either moving towards our destiny or away from it.  Make no mistake, if we are stagnant, choosing inaction, that isn’t actually still.  That is AWAY from our intended destination.  Each moment, each day of not taking action moves us further away by the simple choice of inaction.

Which is fine- if you don’t truly have it in your heart to reach a destination. When it comes to health, it boggles my mind, honestly, that more people don’t “try.” People say all the time they want to be more fit. But the choice often made is not action.  No one is so busy that they cannot find 10-15 minutes a day of CONSISTENT exercise.  DAILY. And yes, I realize I take it personally because it is my purpose and my passion, but also because I SEE the outcome. I see the decline. Our bodies depend on us for care. Our bodies are not meant to be taken for granted.

Our “trying” may take the form of simply showing up. Showing up, sometimes even with a bum attitude! Guess what- the power of showing up even when you do not WANT TO is the ESSENCE!  When you’d rather lay on a couch and scroll for 15 minutes, but instead, you turn on the yoga recording, you get out for a walk, you circle arms/exhale and twist and feed your body with movement. You take the action, do the thing, and TRY YOUR BEST for that day.

Our time within a day is limited, understandably. As it should be.  If time weren’t limited, it wouldn’t have value. So, what has value to you?

And it doesn’t need to be exercise. Are you trying to check in with friends?  Are you trying to do the little things that are the essence of you, whatever that may be. Are you TRYING to take care of your mental health?  I know I am!  So, as much as I am advocating for showing up for fitness, I am as much a proponent of the tools that you need to address to prioritize, taking an intentional 1 full minute of deep breathing to settle your system daily. Are you trying to learn a language, write a book, learn a skill.  All of these things require the consistent, sometimes humbling, action of trying.

Are you aware of the direction you are trying to go in, the actions you daily need to take to get there, and your plan?

You know what?  TRYING FEELS GOOD! The PROCESS of trying is motivating! When I was “trying” to sprint the other day when I exclaimed to someone that I was trying… made me realize how good it felt to be in a place of learning, growing, seeing what was possible. It required me to risk something, to risk being unable to go as fast as I wanted, to risk facing obstacles, to need to step into a place in my heart where I wanted something and was following the call. It felt like LIFE, FULLY.

On the flip side, be careful about using the word “trying” without fully trying.  If you say that you are trying to lose weight, without really intentionally and fully trying…. That of course won’t lead to results and it will lead to an internal narrative that you tell yourself that you can’t, or that it is something that isn’t achievable for you. That isn’t true. The fact is that you weren’t really trying.

Trying can be hard. Trying can be disappointing, if you have your heart in it.  Trying can also be exhilarating, fulfilling, and the cool thing- it doesn’t need to be overwhelming. The big gains and changes and successes in life happen after showing up consistently, day by day. Even if for 10-15 minutes. You won’t reach your goals by a 1 day effort, or once weekly effort. It’s worth thinking about “trying” and the quality of your trying. The one guarantee we do have: no thing will happen, success doesn’t just arrive, you have to show up and make the decision and take the action to try your best. 

RACING into 2025..... again...

 

LOOKING FORWARD…. Again… to RACING IN 2025, part 2!

So, I had intended to possibly do a February race (somewhere warm) which didn’t happen.

So, I was excited and registered for a half marathon in Richmond in March… sprained ankle, didn’t happen.

So, here I try again. I AM WORKING BACK from this injury, rising up, and NEXT UP is Ironman 70.3 Pennsylvania in early June. 

This is a new to me race, and I Haven’t done a different 70.3 in quite a bit of time, so I’m looking forward to new sights, experiences and challenges. What got me signed up for this race is that it is near Ryan’s Aunt who is turning 75 this year and this race is right around 75 days before that, so it is fitting to go there and celebrate her birthday- we won’t be able to at the actual time of her birthday.  ALSO:  they are all Penn State fans and this race finishes in the PSU stadium (more on that later).

When I sprained my ankle, I was disappointed initially and really worried and crushed.  And then I pulled on my big girl pants and got FIRED THE HECK UP. I rode my bike on my trainer for hours, started going out for long rides, even if I wasn’t pushing, and really got what I hope was some really solid bike base fitness. I think I’m actually earlier in my bike progression for a 70.3 this year than I would be for a typical 70.3 cycle, which is good in many ways.  One being that this course is hilly- through some serious climbs in PA, and that is one of the hardest things in my opinion on a 70.3 is adding climbs to the bike which then just crushes the legs and body even more prior to the run.  I have been really focusing on leg/core/back and hip strength to be in the best place possible for the bike portion.

I have been consistently swimming once/week since I sprained the ankle- all with a pull buoy- UNTIL this past week! I finally could do a little kick without the pull buoy. I’ve been consistent and swimming really just all aerobic and continuous with pull buoy/paddles since I haven’t been able to kick. I feel like some of these changes are forced changes to get me into a different pattern of training than what has been my “go to” way of doing things.

My running was slow going getting back onto my feet, but I’m getting there in distance for sure. Speed?  Well, there isn’t much of that and that is absolutely A-OK with me. Goals have changed, my outlook and perspective is so much different than what it used to be, and I’m actually really thankful for it. I may not be reaching as intensely and tightly for my goals, but I’m trying to really enjoy the athlete life- the daily fun of following the plan, knowing that what I do DOES make a difference, and seeing that play out.

For my 70.3- MY GOALS:

*Swim solid and calm.

*Bike hard and relaxed while (calm again) and fuel consistently and smart throughout (energy management). 

*Run consistently with mental patience and fight.

I want to know that I Have done my training fully and without cutting corners.  That I have set myself and my training as a priority, done the work to my ability, and now I get to just go out and do my thing- the focus on race day will be on not giving away my energy mentally, being patient, and ENJOYING THE DAY.  If I remember to keep reminding myself that this is what I LOVE and ENJOYING the day, the new sights, the new to me course, and being curious with no expectations, it will lead me to my goals.

I know that there will be VERY BIG STRUGGLES physically and mentally during the race.  It is my job to train myself body and mind to get THROUGH these.  Not to not have them… because.. it is a half Ironman… it is not going to be easy, and I will not mislead myself into thinking that training will make something easy. Sometimes it is easy to think that way.  But no- there will be at least 1,2,3x that I have to dig deep within and WILL myself through. I will work on that grit in my training so that I Have the best possible chance to get through the rough patches.

I am highly cognizant that my goals seem to have no numbers, paces, finishing rankings, because I will know on the inside if I am happy with how the race is going and finished.

 

 

 

What is not working for you any longer?

 

What is not working for you any longer?

There is a Buddhist parable about a man trying to cross a swift moving river- he has no way to get across. He builds this great raft from twigs that saves his life and gets him across the river.  He ties it to his back, thinking, this saved my life, I will carry it with me always. He then begins to walk through a forest. Now the raft on his back is banging into things, trees, and limiting his progress. He comes to realize that even what once saved his life is now limiting him, and he needs to make a choice to either carry it and be limited, or let it go in, enabling him to move forward.

 

I was reminded of this parable the week after my therapist told me that maybe I could do some things differently than I always have.  That even though I’ve learned to build some walls over my life, that maybe I don’t need to anymore. That maybe I would be better off “softening” and trusting and not always going along with my guidebook on how to not get hurt.

Isn’t it always like this?  When something you need to hear arrives repeatedly in your eyeballs.  First, my therapist, then hearing this reminder from the raft parable. Then, a devotional on trust and love, then a yoga focus on stepping into curiosity of new ways. All right after each other.  I get the message.

It is so easy to follow the ways that we have lived our lifetimes. It is scary to slowly learn to release the reigns, discard the “rules” you built for yourself that have kept you safe and literally saved your life. I’ll be the first to say, I really like following these rules that do box me in, but also protect me in ways. And I also realize, I’m more in the forest now and the raft is totally banging on trees and dragging me backwards.

It is difficult to reprogram our way of thinking, activing and learning to be open to new ways.

It is difficult learning to be open, to have a greater sense of trust is at times against our survival instincts.

To learn that working to the death of you isn’t all that life is.

To experience the awakening of being able to sit with yourself in moments of ease, to even just sit STILL and not feel guilty for that.

To not follow the ridges of the path that you have carved over and over with repetition for a lifetime, to look in new places, to open eyes to even considering there may be another way.

If we remain tied to old ways of doing and communicating, we will not be able to move forward towards the change and growth that the people we have developed into now need. We are not the same person we were a year ago, 10 years ago or 40 years ago, so the same tools and rules don’t always apply.  When you look at someone and wonder why they are doing that thing that isn’t serving them, it is so easy to see from the outside (and judge), without knowing the story of their life, the story of how that developed.  

I’m in the hard work of being awake and noticing and trying to be open to some new ways in my life. I know I won’t be able to just snap and begin to live a different way (nor do I want to), but I owe it to myself and others around me to think really carefully about how I show up, how I don’t show up, how I open myself, how I protect myself, how I am in the world. It’s of course another gift of awareness and a privilege to do my best in this life I’ve been given.

 

What are you afraid of?

 

What are you afraid of?

4 weeks ago, I sprained my ankle.  It was horrible, actually.  I still sometimes flash back in my mind about the landing, the literal 90 degree angle that I found myself coming down on, along with the noise, which I was sure meant something had broken.

There was a pause where I was trying to gulp back the fall I had just taken…. Say it didn’t happen…. I didn’t want to reconcile in my head what this meant for all the plans I had coming up. I had just been sick for 2 weeks, winter has been excruciating cold, and the world… well. Let’s just say that there was a lot of despair and angst. I need to be able to move my body and have something that I love. And I was in the midst of training a teen athlete, so was quickly navigating how to cut the session short and hopefully he wouldn’t have to carry me up the stairs!

I got myself up the stairs, ice on and it was throbbing. It began swelling very quickly and I’ll admit, I was very quickly at work thinking forward despite what I think may have been a low dose shock. I was praying and emailing a few of my closest friends to please pray for me.  I stated that I was really scared, and could they pray for it to not be as bad as what I think it might be.

A sweet friend texted me back, asking me what I was scared of. The first blessing of this was that I knew how true and kind and caring a person she was, so I knew that it wasn’t meant as an accusation or snarky- like that I had nothing to be afraid of. I knew she genuinely wanted to know, so that she could pray for me.  The second blessing was in coming INTO myself to think and calm down and pause to actually answer that question. I was lying on the couch with my leg up and ice packs on it, and I remember realizing: OK- I can name this.  I am scared of #1. Not being able to work and 2. Not being able to exercise to keep myself mentally healthy.

All of a sudden, even though I was still scared, it seemed manageable.  I could name it. And in naming it, there was at least hope that, even if it was the worst possible, that those were the things that I would be addressing primarily, and I knew what I was facing.

This really opened my eyes to the power of taking a pause and taking things/feelings/fear one step further by acknowledging the underlying real and true fears. In handling anxiety in my life- so related and intertwined in fear, I know I could be helped by pausing and naming it. Addressing it more specifically, named and directly- something defined, rather than a huge feeling of doom and intense weight on my being.

For athletes, including myself, before races- that feeling of fear/trepidation/nervousness… could also be addressed and looked at square in the eye.  What are you nervous about? If I am feeling nervous about the swim, I can address that, self-talk myself through the fact that I have done all the training that I knew was the right thing.  If someone is nervous they will underperform compared to expectations, there can be a conversation and acknowledgement of the things that need addressing there. So simple, yet so profound.

For exercisers that are just beginning a new workout program, personal training sessions, format of a group class that are feeling intimidated- even then- addressing the tension of unknowing, stepping into something new, can be attended to by speaking truth to feelings.

These days, our world is full of uncertainty. Most of us are feeling fear. And maybe there is the opportunity here also as I’ve learned in the past 4 weeks to say to the big feelings, Hello big cloud of uncertainty, the top things I fear in this cloud are……And in those things, we can take some action.  Action alleviates anxiety. We can do this.

Beyond having a life lesson in being specific/naming fear, it was a big hug to my heart- that I had the gift of someone digging deeper and asking me that question. There was trust on both sides that it could be asked and received😊 Blessings even in the sprained ankle department.