2025.
Ohhh 2025.
You were the best of years. And also not the best.
Let’s look back… It was the year I was turning 50 and my
word of the year/mantra was “now”. I wanted to make sure I was living present
and not waiting for a thing. I’m really proud of how I did that this year. I had a list of 50 things- I did not complete
them all, but I did get through most of them and the rest are still on my list-
time/scheduling just didn’t happen, and I know they will. I wrote letters to 50 people who have changed
my life, I took a trapeze class, I did a bucket list marathon in Kauai, I made
it a priority to go to a few new places that are near me that I just hadn’t
previously made time for. I did some house projects, personal projects, writing
projects, travel, visits. I recreated
photos for my 50’th bday, and more. I’m so glad I had a list to make things
happen.
I did 2 races that I trained for really hard. I did Ironman 70.3 PA and the Kauai
marathon. The PA race, I finished the
last 6 miles just elated and ALREADY feeling so proud of myself. To be able to say that to myself, to FEEL
that completely, from the inside out…. Was so special. I came back from an
injury, I trained hard, and honestly, I couldn’t tell you my time/place/pace
anything, all I know is the FEELING… and that really is how I’m living and
training and racing these days. The
Kauai marathon was similar. I trained
DAMN HARD. AND.. right now, I couldn’t tell
you my finish time—I could guess but I honestly forgot my time, I have it
written… but it isn’t even in the top 10 things I would care about from that
race. The TRAINING I was proud of, and
the RACE I was also- by the way I was completely in the moment, aware, giving
myself both work and grace. Were the last 10 miles of it SO hard? YES. AND. I
hung in there. I self-talked myself through, stayed strong, stayed with myself,
showed myself that I have become the person through these 50 years that can
endure.
There was so much of this year that was great. There was
also so much that sucked, in all honesty.
And, not just the state of our country. As always, I feel big; so to
lose relationships always hurts me. This year was devastating in ways to the
heart. AND I see now though that with every devastation came love. When I was so raw and broken, my family was
there for me, and I now know I have that.
I relied on messages and txts from my friends, and day by day, I got
through. (and therapy!)
So, I now step into 2026.What are my dreams for the year,
what are my dreams for 5 years and how will this year play into that?
Who do I want to show up as every day for MYSELF, for
OTHERS.
It’s sometimes hard to pick a word (I’ve had some years
where I just KNOW, others were I have like 10 things). This year, a quick brainstorm brings me to a
few possibilities:
Aloha (the spirit of aloha that I feel SO
STRONG, so natural when I am in Hawaii, can I channel that even in the
tundra/frozen/grey of winter? Can I
carry that aloha spirit from the inside out?) Towards – every day,
am I leaning IN/TOWARDS/being intentional/forward thinking as well as NOW.
Trust - can I live each moment trusting myself, the
universe, the path.
Intention: I worked with this so much this year- in every
day, what was my intention, even in every conversation, every workout plan,
every training session, what was my intent in an interaction with someone with- how did I
want to leave them feeling and myself as well. I loved breaking things down and
even realizing having an intention of a conversation- to leave someone feeling
heard, seen, loved was such an honor and special.
Passion: THIS, for me seems to even encompass all the
words above: PASSION for who I want to be, what I believe in can ENCOMPASS
aloha, towards, trust and intention. (ohhh and I am a SUCKER for quote in
one of my favorite movies “Serendipity”- “The Greeks didn’t write obituaries.
When someone died, they asked one question. Did they live with passion.”
So this year, I go forward with
PASSION
I want to live each day knowing that each moment makes a
difference. Each day, I will spend time knowing that my energy is directed to
what I am passionate about. That will
mean saying no to certain things and situations in order to prioritize what
brings me joy, thrill and uplifts my soul.
I will honor the things that ground me and also things that lift me. I
will work on daily making my dreams come true at the same time as I allow
things and life to be, even when that disappoints or frustrates me. I will feel
the joy every single day that “I get to” pet my dogs, spend time with my family
and friends, do work that I know makes a difference with people I genuinely
care about and believe in. I get to use my body and MOVE- run, bike, swim, lift
heavy things, and lay down with legs up. I will move in ways that honor my body
and breath and heart. I will try to share and be contagious with this energy,
but… I’ll also accept that I cannot create passion in others. I will continue
to make time for friends, for gardening, crafting, candles, porch, dogs,
paddleboarding, hiking, reading, writing. Being passionate doesn’t mean I have to go
over the top, but I can honor my heart and the enthusiasm that genuinely arises
in me for the things of daily life:
sunrises, puppies, kind people saying hello on walks and runs, seeing
wildlife, moving my body with exhilaration in all the ways that I love so much.
I will make space to craft with shells, garden, take naps with Gretyl laying on
my legs, climbing mountains, running more on trails which I’m finding more and
more is speaking to a feeling of peace. My
run/triathlon training will be full of hard work, hitting goals, pushing
myself, and training with passion: this looks like ENJOYING it as well as times
where it feels frustrating. My races this year will be geared towards racing
with passion and heart. This means
letting the training do the work on race day and staying focused while also LOOKING
UP and ENJOYING. It’s not worth it if I don’t love it. I want to have the deep
passion for the things that I choose to lock my mind and heart on to that it is
worth acknowledging and doing all of the small things that are the building
blocks, the path, the way. I want to remember that every day, I (as we all do)
have the opportunity to change people’s lives, to connect, to smile and be
kind. I want to be someone who notices and shows up for others. I want to
remember to pause and look at people’s eyes, face and make a simple moment of
connection. Even moments of rest can be filled with enthusiasm and genuine awareness
of acceptance. I’m old enough to have learned, or be in the process of learning
to sit, breathe and be. I’m passionate about showing up for myself and others. There
are so many things to be passionate about.
I want to express gratitude for my life by allowing the passion to rise
up daily. May it be so.
