So, I hate going to the dentist. I haven’t been in awhile. I am trying to take good care of me, so I went yesterday.
I met Perky Perkheimer, my new dental hygienist. She was SO excited to meet me. (?) Like really way too happy, it is okay though. I get happy to meet new people also, so I tried to be happy also.
She walked me into the new office space they have, and with her mask covering her face except her eyes, turned to me and asked, super excitedly, if I had ever been to this new office space. (I haven’t… I try to not go to the dentist). She continued to try to WOW me with all of the new snazzy things, including the AWESME new way to do xrays, where you don’t even leave the room, where they just have this little tool that does it, hardly any radiation, etc. I thought, there is definitely a note in my file that I have resisted xrays before. I don’t know why, I just don’t lke to get them. If I get myself TO the dentist, I feel like that is really enough. If I’m not feeling pain, I just don’t quite get why I need to look for problems. Last time, I swear I needed a lawyer to sign off on not getting x rays. Anyway, she asked if I wanted xrays today… I said, “no… I’m probably okay,” hoping that was enough.
Perky continued to talk to me through her mask, but added on these ant like eye glasses with the light bulb shining at me. She looked at my chart then to see that last time they had mentioned I should get a night guard since they thought I was grinding my teeth. I had gone to check out and that was where I was supposed to ask for it and inquire how much it would be with my insurance. Who wants to wear a night guard, right? But I had figured, aww, well, if it is like $15, maybe I should be an adult and do this. I asked. $370. Yep, no. No night guard for me.
This time, Perky asked how the night guard was working out. I told her I decided to not get it. She told me that many people “in my situation” decide to go for Invisalign. Would I be interested in seeing an orthodontist? Ummmmm… NO???? WHO Says yes???!!! Really, WHO.
I mean, this visit was getting already HILARIOUS. I wished I had been on video so I could look at the camera and just roll my eyes and giggle.
So, then the real visit begins, I am told to put these sunglasses on which I kind of like because I think if I need to roll my eyes, she cannot see. The good news was they have a tv on the ceiling that has TRIVIA, which was honestly the highlight of the visit. There was honestly really interesting stuff up there and it was so random that it really was keeping my attention.
That being said Perky went back to excitedly asking about my flossing habits. I said I use Glide. I love glide. Anyway, she almost jumped out of her hygienist chair asking me if I have heard of water picks. I thought those may be the little pick things that the kids used to use to floss with. She said NOOO…. Better- these things apparently spray water between your teeth. I tried to not make a grose face because that sounds terrible to me. One of the worst parts of the visit is when water gets sprayed into your math, 2nd only to when the air suction device gets put in your mouth and even though you know it is coming, when you close your mouth it nearly takes your esophagus up. Anyway, so she continues to go on about the forceful nature of this water sprayer for flossing and how it is so powerful and she apparently loves it and has spaces between her teeth that it works really well for. I have no idea because I am just thinking no way. HOWEVER, I am also thinking- this is really this lady’s “thing.” And I kind of get that. I myself get so excited talking about fitness related things, and suggesting people do this or that, or telling them how a balance disc is so helpful for them and I realize. I AM PERKY. People think this about ME when I go on about my devices that they only see as tortuous. So, I try my very best to act interested as she goes on about how the office sells them only at cost, same with amazon. I didn’t want to dare ask how much, because I was afraid I’d get signed up and have to hear more, but gave that info anyway, it is like $80. Oh my gosh. 80. To floss. I was excited that she was so happy about it, but I am sitting tight with Glide still.
Anyway, all was well. I got out without having x rays, despite basically signing my commitment to PROMISE to have x rays the next time. The lady (Perky- hygienist) then walked me up to the desk and I’m thinking, she is going to STAND THERE and make sure I MAKE the appointment!! But she let me go, and I told the office lady that I would call to make my next appointment😊 Saved.