THE RACE THAT ALMOST DIDN'T HAPPEN
So, maybe you’ve read my pre race thoughts of “nothing more,
nothing less”….. and my mind set goals going into my favorite triathlon of the
year.
Well, my intentions were there.
I went to bed early, and….. could not sleep.
Various things going on as to why and why my mind was not in
a good place and I had all emotions that began raging out of control. I was angry at some things, worried, and
mentally began going through the race/ trying to imagine a way it could go
well, and I just couldn’t do it in my head.
I switched sleeping locations maybe 10x.
It didn’t work.
*Sorry for TMI, but I had just gotten my period and I knew I
usually feel terrible day 2 and did not know the LOGISTICS of how I was going
to actually even make this race work with having my period. Ugh.
So, I began making up this story that maybe I shouldn’t even
do it. I went back and forth. Literally.
The ENTIRE NIGHT. I slept zero.
In the morning, (3:30AM, had to leave at 4), I began getting
ready, the entire time self talking that I didn’t know if I was even
going. I didn’t know if I should/ could/
all the things were happening in my mind.
I still got ready, I dind’t know why I couldn’t just make a
decision. I put my bike on the back of
car, still not sure. Then I went and
decided I couldn’t wear the swimsuit I was wearing. I’ve worn it before, but it’s never been my
exact favorite fit, and all of a sudden I just decided I couldn’t do it, I
couldn’t be so uncomfortable with the back of the suit so high across my upper
back/ I felt like it was digging into my under arms/lats and I hated that I could
feel it pushing on my skin, not only feeling annoying, but looking terrible in
my mind. So, now I am at 3:55 in a rage
trying to find another swim suit (not just swim suit but one that was for
tris). This is really not how I rumble
before a race, I never CHANGE my idea on what I’m wearing to race in the
morning of, OMGOSH.
OK, so got a swimsuit and got in car. I’m doing it.
At this point, a few other female logistical things were weighing on me
and bringing me to a panic, but within 20 min, I’m at least back to breathing
easy and solid that I’m going. I’m doing
this. I cannot believe I spent the
entire night waffling on if I’m even doing the race. I decide to just go and HAVE FUN. Maybe I had been overthinking my “race plan”
and should have just been all out to have fun from the get go?
Arriving at the race site, I step out and am near shocked at
how COLD IT IS IN THE MOUNTAINS. The
grass is soaked and in my flip flops, my feet are just frozen. I get race number and timing chip and set up bike
in transition and begin my 1000 trips to bathroom. As always.
So frustrating. Luckily, I didn’t
have any GI distress in the race itself.
Swim: Started steady
and really remained within where I wanted to be pace and intensity wise. This is the BEST swim ever if you are ever
considering an open water swim event. The
lake is smooth, easy, beautiful. People
were spread out and not an issue at all except for ONE situation at the turn to
the 2nd loop: a guy I knew I
was passing from an earlier wave apparently decided to use me as a dock and was
pushing me DOWNWARDS, hands on back and just kept doing it. I know bumps and hits happen, but this was
like someone trying to push me down and repeatedly drown me. After a bit, I took my hand, and literally
somehow with my adrenaline running grabbed his arm or body I am not even sure
and threw him over in the water/ off of me.
I may have yelled something as well (I did), I had zero control over
what I was doing, I was trying to not drown… and then after I threw him away, I
just got back into my swim because I didn’t want him near me anymore and tried
to calm down for the 2nd loop.
I ended strong and feeling good about my swim overall.
Bike: I wanted to go strong and I feel like I did the entire
time push my pace appropriately. I had..
AGAIN… a right/left leg discrepancy which I now am COMMITTED to find out what
is going on. My right hip/hamstring is
my problematic side. In 3 races now, on
the bike, my LEFT leg/hip/hamstring feels like it is cramping/ tightening/
doing an entirely different work than my right side. I am trying to push equally, but something is
feeling wrong on my left side. To the
point that I’m completely limited by about cramping up on my left side, I'm AT
that line of it making me stop if I do more, so need to be careful and listen to it. But I just cannot figure it
out right now. I will be though. I finished with 19 mph average, and completely went as much as I worked for, stayed focus, strong and smart.
The hills were challenging, but I kept mentally strong, not
letting them make me feel that I wasn’t still pushing even obviously when my
pace was slower on the hills.
RUN: I had it planned to stop in the port o pot after T2 due
to my female issues and I did and just was very fast of 30 seconds and OFF to
the run. First mile, I felt strong, even
with the transition. 2nd
mile, my pace was 7:55, and I wanted to KEEP that exact INTENSITY (pace if
possible, but I knew mile 3 was much more uphill). So, I used that pace to keep it back to the
turnaround. Mile 3 was slower with the
hills, but I knew I had done the work with committing to not give up for one
second. I was happy to start the 2nd
loop and maybe see if I could begin to push it a bit more. Mile 4 was fast again as that first mile is a
bit more downhill and then I knew I have 1 more to push and then FINAL
MILE. I love this distance to really
just break up the miles and if you go faster, in a way, it’s almost easier to
let them clock by! There were various paces
out there and I loved being able to pass people. I had one guy who was really keeping a solid
pace in front of me for most of the race and then I passed him at mile 4.5- it
does get really hard the last 1.5 miles with heat and hills, but I knew this
was the end and to just hang in step by step, there is no sense in recovering BEFORE
the finish line, right?! So I did push
ALL THE FREAKING WAY to the end. There is
like 200 yards before finish where it is downhill to the finish line so I did try
to use that to get any extra seconds I could!
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35:18/mile |
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T1 |
1:23 |
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Bike |
1:20:37 (41km) |
19.0/mph |
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T2 |
1:05 |
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Run |
50:01 (10km) |
8:04/mile |
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Penalty |
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Finish |
2:45:32.0 |
THIS WAS MY 11th LURAY! Not my fastest, but i am 100% thrilled with my race!
Way to overcome those mental demons. You are a warrior!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Thank you for sharing your struggles. It helps us all.
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