EAGLEMAN 2016. Here I
am again, writing about my beloved
Eagleman, haha. People have been asking
me how it was/ they haven’t heard/ and I think it is because I am STILL NOT
SURE!!!!
*immediately after the race I was so so happy that I
finished (and was alive)….. then I
suffered through kind of 6-7 hours of alternatively on a HIGH and then very
woozy/nauseas/maybe even a hallucination in there? (read on)…. Then the next day, just on a HIGH, slight
disappointment that I won’t be going to Australia, but still happy to have
qualified, stomach all unsettled so I felt kind of weird and grose, and then
Tuesday just DEAD TO THE WORLD. For some
reason Sat PM before race, I couldn’t sleep/I was up at 2AM for good. The night AFTER race/ in hotel by myself/ was
thankful to be mostly not nauseas anymore, but my body was like on electric
mode and I was WIRED and also…. *aloOOOOOne**** in hotel room, so I kind of
thought I should make use of it by waking up AGAIN at 2AM and watching an hour
of everyone loves Raymond repeats…???... yes I did. And today… I SLEPT last night, so I feel
like I am kind of myself again, and … will write about itJ
So… backing up…. (I know you wanted to know about RACE and
not my sleep and stomach patterns afterwards)….So before Eagleman, I was
CONFIDENT, ready, fully trained. I
really was trained as best as I could have for this race (with life factors in
there, etc)…. And then.. the week of.. most of you know about my tailbone
issue. The race quickly became in my
mind something that I would for SURE not take for granted. I am so thankful to have been able to
participate. (Thank you to Larry Grine,
seriously.) I will end any conversation
of my tailbone by saying, it was a NONFACTOR 100% in my race. Never felt it (although I do now). (I also took quite a good amount of alleve
prior to race).
During race, my mind went back to the “mantras” and focus
points I had developed, practiced and repeated in my pre race mental prep,
which were:
OVERALL RACE: manage discomfort,
stay emotionally detached but completely focused in the moment, until last 3
miles of the run, then I would allow myself to take emotions with me and use
anything left (ended up being again.. a nonfactor!!--- all emotions were fried
by that point)…. (so maybe this was a mistake/ something to think about).
My biggest overall race focus was: “not letting myself off the hook in the
moment” which was something I read in a book lately and I recognized as
something that maybe I have slightly done before, but also I know others who do
this repeatedly. Like when someone
trains hard hard hard for a race and then they go out and say, “ohhhh, I Just
decided to run it for fun.” Well, there
is more to it than just running it for fun once you have sacrificed so much of
your life / time/ energy/ heart into a goal.
Deciding to run it for fun is only because of fear, and maybe a
combination of other things- lack of focus, confidence, proper mental prep
etc…. and I am not saying this with a person in mind,, but MANY times I have
heard people doing this and I wonder if I sometimes have also done this or come
closer, or done it to a DEGREE. I was
OUT to NOT LET MYSELF OFF THE HOOK.
ANYWAY. My sport
specific focuses were: swim—to just
remain calm and swim my swim (and not be TOO slow, haha!) BIKE:
hammer it in a STRONG, manageable sense.
And RUN… I trained and practiced really working on endurance and
progressive speed over the course of the miles.
(I am not sure at all this is the right strategy for EM… more on this,
something really to look at).
ANYWAY…Race day: Swim
started fine- was glad it was wetsuit legal, but it honestly felt a little hot waiting
for my wave to go off in wetsuit and hoping that wasn’t a bad sign (I have
never felt uncomfortably hot before a race before). I had no problems on the swim with feeling
anxiety or breathing which I had unexpectedly a few years ago and was hoping to
not have again, so was happy with that. Just took the swim buoy by buoy out and
it was good. First turn to right, I felt
“disoriented”- like where am I supposed to be headed and felt like we hadn’t
turned correctly. I was sighting for
buoys which were alternately yellow and orange, but the problem was that the
wave before me had yellow swim caps, so I was seeing yellow and unsure if they
were caps or buoys. But kept on/still
felt disoriented. At the next turn buoy,
I felt better and that we were headed where we were supposed to. On this phase of the swim I def. noticed the
current, so was trying to adjust but really don’t think I swam it as
efficiently as I sometimes do. – found
myself to be a bit out from the buoy line and on the way back it is better to
be nice and narrow with the buoys.
Anyway, my time was 35 something, which is either my best swim time for
this course or close to it. I never keep
track of that because I find it a little irrelevant—sometimes it is wetsuit
legal, sometimes there is more chop, conditions are always different, BUT.. I
was happy with swim.
T1: got my wetsuit
off/ on bike- fast running it out and hear people yelling SHOE SHOE SHOE SHOE
at me. One of my bike shoes which was
clipped into pedals (not on feet) had gotten stuck on the ground and popped
off, so I had to actually turn around with m y bike and go back maybe 10 feet to
get it.. a nice racer on the way out picked it up for me as she ran up to me, I
thought that was so nice. Got on bike
easy and off. Boom. (not my best
transition time though because of the shoe debacle).
BIKE: off for 56
miles. Passing people right away. At about 4-5 miles in we were going down a
small side road and I heard an ambulance coming up behind us with siren on,
there were cars that were pulled over to the side coming towards us/people were
out saying “cyclist (s- couldn’t hear if it was plural or not) down, slow down
slow down”… I didn’t know if there was one crash/ if a whole ROAD of people
were down, if there was a reason, something on the road/ something that would
make us have to stop/get off, so I was a bit worried. Slowed down.
The ambulance had blocked the road on the right side behind the area
where there were 2 cyclists down, we went around to the left. I was glad it wasn’t a whole road of people
down, but felt so horrible for those cyclists.
One was a woman and she was down/ not moving/ hope she is okay. I haven’t heard. It reminded me of 2 things: my first thought was 1. That puts this in
perspective, most important thing today: be safe. 2nd thought was—ok that woman
would LOVE to be out here racing, she can’t be out here so we have to fully be
out here doing our best, honoring that, etc…….
Beginning at mile 5 of bike- out on the more open roads, the
winds were FIERCE. This was one of the
biggest changes in the race for this year- I have never had the ENTIRE bike
course be so fiercely windy. (so it was
not my best bike TIME, but I still feel like I went strong and was smart about
my intensity and still managed almost 22mph).
I saw a guy get blown off the road by a gust of wind and late in the
race, that almost happened to me also! Was crazy! I’m always surprised by the things I see on
the bike- I see so many people pedaling with legs/knees out/wierdball form,
slower cyclists just biking out in the center of the road (blocking- but I
don’t somehow see those people getting penalties/don’t see them in the penalty
tents along course). My low back
definitely started to get tired during the bike- I knew it may end up being
more tired than normal because of bracing from all of the winds. Even though it was fatigued, it never became
a problem- limiting me, not allowing me to keep pushing, so I was and am
thankful for that. There is always an
unpredictable line with my back where it goes from fatigue to basically not
allowing me to move normally. I did a
“good job” keeping my energy/food going in during the bike, but I wanted NONE
OF IT. I thankfully had my watch set to
beep every 7.5 minutes and each time I would follow whatever was my plan for
that phase of the race- either water for first 20 min of bike, then began
taking in food for the next hour, then water again, then perpetuum drink closer
to end of bike time to limit food going in, but keeping calories and protein
going in. I think it worked well. I was a bit worried- the last 1 hour of bike,
I definitely felt HOT and was worried that if I felt hot during the BIKE, how
that would feel during the RUN… yikes. I
also put my hand on my face at one point and noticed just tons of SALT and was
definitely keeping this a bit heavy on my mind and what it would mean for the
run..
T2: I came in from
the bike, felt really good and ready to freaking be OFF the bike! Every year, I
think this at Eagleman, I am so glad to be ON FEET- nothing like just being on
your own two feet and having no worries about water or wheels! Ran through transition to find my entire bike
rack EMPTY!! Good news- meaning that most of my age group/ all that I could
see/ were still on the bike, so I knew I was at the top of the standings at
this point which was nice to know.
Grabbed fuelbelt/number/helmet off/shoes quick on and
OUT. I had my fuelbelt and an energy
bottle sitting in a cooler of ice (ice had melted but my stuff was still nice
and cold)… I opened up my energy bolt drink and yum, seriously, it got me
through the first few miles. I slightly
worry about taking those energy “bolt” drinks or whatever they are, but… I
think they work for me, and my body needs and apparently loves caffeine, so…. I
did it. That was my first 3 miles of
fuel. I knew within those 3 miles that
it was HOT, but that being said, not as horrible hot as it has been in the
past, it was maybe like an 8.7/ 10 hot, where there have been some years where
it is 10/10 hot….. and I really RARELY ever say something is 10/10. I wasn’t using my gps to get splits (that is
a whole additional story)… but I loosely with my stopwatch was seeing that my
first 3 miles were maybe on a 7:30 track-ish.
But I was again trying to stay very calm/paced and NON EMOTIONAL. Not worrying about pace, not focusing on
numbers, just being calm and trying to race smart and be in the moment. I did have some fleeting thoughts of, oh gosh
I don’t know if I can keep this up.. it is really hot!! And then I would say (shut up), calm down to
myself and just keep at it. First
probably 4-5 aid stations I ran through, grabbing what I needed and was fast going. It was probably at mile 4ish that I had some
thoughts of, DAMN, this is going to turn into another walk-fest/survival fest
at Eagleman situation. And I just really
didn’t want that. I wanted to run,
not just survive. My friend Koen ran
by me maybe at mile 4.5ish (I had passed him on the bike) and comparatively to
his pace I wondered if I was standing still?
It was a good reminder to keep pushing. There are so many people out
there who are walking that it is easy to get sucked into THAT mindset of
feeling horrid. I often think/say that
if all I saw were the people that were running strong, I would be much more
likely to be thriving and not allowing myself to be walking/singing a sad story
to myself. Koen maybe said something to
me, but honestly, I had ZERO oomph in me at that point to even respond
verbally, and felt kind of bad, but again, no energy to feel bad, I knew I just
had to keep on. We turned down a street
that is normally very just barren and hot/ and it was as usual, but this street
also brings us up almost to the halfway point.
Once I had made it through first 4
miles of run, my next mental “block” that I was trying to focus on, was
mile 4-8. Just being moderate and steady
and strong/smart racing. Since I knew I
was getting to the halfway point, as well as a new road/change in course, I was
hopeful that maybe that road would provide a bit of shade, AND IT DID… ahhhhh
thank goodness! I was so so happy. I
used that shade to really try to keep my pace up, my body fully connected with
arm cadence driving my leg cadence/ form still strong, etc. I tried to makeup time here.
I noticed also that I wasn’t eating anything or taking in
calories and I knew how stupid that was.
I had had my energy drink, so that was good. But then at every aid station, all I wanted
was ice water over my head, and ice in my swimsuit and ice in a cup to hold and
eat ice cubes out of for the next mile.
It really was deteriorating slightly mentally to a mile to mile event… (aaggghhh
the freaking Eagleman race… why do I love you so, why do I come back each year
to torture and love it… ) so I tried to
take one of my cliff blocks in. and I
noticed, pretty much right away, that yuck, it was like revulsive to even my
mouth and I wanted to kind of drool it out (I know sounding awesome here)… but
I quickly remembered last year’s new invention, “iced clif block popsicles”..
so since I really couldn’t tolerate the cliff block, I popped an ice cube in my
mouth with it. And I kind of chewed them up a bit together and put the ice cube
within/around the clif block,, so I had kind of a flavored ice type of cliff
block. I was feeling very ingenious
again this year with this invention and halfway through the block put another
ice cube in to mix with it more. That
was the only block of energy I took in the whole way…. This race just destroys
me, and I knew y body was a bit shutting down.
My legs by this halfway point were very much shutting down. My quads were already “sore” to the point where
I had to really stay focused on each foot placement because I was worried that
my legs may actually give OUT upon landing.
This was possibly even a good thing for my run pace because I noticed
the quicker I was/ the less time I was actually ON my legs on the ground, it
felt easier to not collapse….So I think this helped me keep my pace up.
When we finished the new mile of shade on the race, I could
see it coming… I could- it was the main highway, back out in the freaking sun,
and we had like 5.5-6 miles left of this I thought.. I was really veering on
being TERRIFIED to get back out into the sun, I wasn’t sure if I was going to
be able to take it. But I did.. I just
kind of mentally disengaged from what I was doing/ didn’t let myself focus on the
distance left, just kept running each step… and I made it the next few miles
that way. The good news I am leaving out
on this run is that I think I basically was passing everyone on the run, except
the one person out there I knew that I mentioned before (koen). So,, even though I really wasn’t feeling
great, I sure was actually running fine.
Of course it wasn’t the paces that I trained at, but… this is Eagleman
and you just don’t ever expect to run at your normal paces there. I hadn’t passed anyone with my age group, so
I still wasn’t sure of my placement, but I did know I had been doing well since
no bikes were back when I got back.
There were two times on the run that I did stop. At one point I let myself in the shade walk
for 30 seconds because I wanted to just indulge in the shade… and I realized I
was “letting myself off the hook” so I made sure 30 seconds was not lengthened
out… and it was good. Another time, I
stopped running, honestly had to swear
out loud, and then was like, ok that is dumb to walk, and I (kind of angrily at
myself) realized I didn’t NEED TO, so I picked it back up and was happier to be
back at it.
Had I continued those walks, my race could have ended very
differently- timewise, placewise, and overall sense of how I did. *moral of the story to the athletes I
coach--- keep going. Don’t give up.
I came to the water finally- when you get to this corner
where you see the water you have 1.5 miles and I was so so thrilled- this road
is so beautiful, historic homes, and you know you CAN DO IT THEN!! You WILL
MAKE IT!
But it still seems kinda far. Last mile… always is… is just
freaking THRILLING and all of a sudden it becomes WORTH IT… this thing that maybe almost killed
you…. You now CONQUERED itJ The water on the left is beautiful and the
houses on the right and you can HEAR the finish line… all is wellJ
So I finished with not my best time, but actually my 2nd
best time. I qualified for World Long
course championships in Australia, but I won’t be going. So there are kind of mixed emotions for that-
Australia is really my #1/2 place I want to visit sometime (Austria/Italy the
others)… but I am still happy that I qualified.
It is always a little bittersweet to walk over the finish line and not
have my family to be there for me, but I am so thankful that they understand
that I do this and that I love working towards it, etc.
Immediately after I finished, I walked past finish line,
kept walking to the boat ramp, took off shoes and fuel belt and walked back
into the water and just stood my legs in water… and body actually.. oh could
have stayed forever, felt so good with the cold water easing my muscles. But, I wanted to go back and watch for
Meredith, so I got up, walked back up boat ramp to discover, my right hip/glute
medius was locked. I could not
walk. Could not. I had not one ounce of hip pain during entire
race, and now all of a sudden I couldn’t even stand/walk? So I stood there, in parking lot.. standing
still… digging my thumb into my butt.
All by myself. Seriously.. I
tried to take a few steps, and it was like 9.5/10 pain, so kept digging my
thumb in and started slightly freaking out thinking, I have to walk/get
bike/get all my stuff all by myself and I cannot move I am like stuck here in
this driveway!!! But I got it to loosen up with enough thumb digging… and,
surprisingly, after half hour, it was again a non issue? My body is so weird.
I felt okay immediately after, went to get my phone and
called Ryan/ my brother txted me which is when I found out I got 3rd
in my age group, my highest placing ever
at Eagleman (prior to this my highest was 8th), and then after 15
min, I kinda started to feel a bit nauseas.
I went to the food tent to see about getting a diet soda, and I got 2…
to start with… seriously it is the ONLY THING I can ever have after a
race. I got this, and I got a bagel for
later, but the other “real food”… I have honestly no idea who can eat that
stuff after Eagleman… I mean rice and beans?
I love rice and beans, but after this race no way. There is pasta bake and just being in the
tent with it honestly makes me every year want to gag. So I get my diet cokes and outta there. Diet cokes kept me feeling good for a bit,
but anytime someone would talk to me (I saw Koen)- talking like made my blood
pressure drop or something and I was WOOOOOZY.. like I felt drunk and cloudy
and like I could pass out… my ears would slightly become ringing and fuzzy if I
would talk. And I’d start shakey/sweating. Very odd.
I figured I needed some m ore diet cokeJ so I went back for 2 more cans of diet cokeJ! (getting my moneys worth.. actually… no…$400
is more than 4 cans of diet coke, but I digress).. I laid under a tree and
tried to relax and not get sick for a bit.
I watched for Meredith to finish and was so excited to see her finish
her first half!! She did great! We were talking/sitting on grass/ she had
gotten something to eat and I was still trying to pretend I felt okay/not
getting sick, but I knew I was really not “well”… there was a guy sitting next
to me with a brown tee shirt on and he must have leaned backwards/in my
direction and out of the corner of my eye I thought it was some sort of brown
animal running at me! So I jumped
towards Meredith/instantly realized that I was like REEAAAALLY woozyish and
maybe having some brain lethargy issues…… and knew it was time to pack up and
go….
I went back to hotel, got in pool to ease my legs and be
cool, took a shower, which felt SO GOOD. There is NOTHING in the world like a
shower after Eagleman… (except maybe a shower after going to Haiti)… but I
immediately laid in bed, under all the covers and felt feverish and semi-slept/
semi stayed awake due to a fly in the room that kept landing on me).. I honestly
did this for probably 2 hours…. Dozing, shivering a bit… I got up and felt
so much better, I went to get a
milkshake to get something cold and calories down.. I’ve maybe never tasted
anything better.
This weeks recovery has been TOUGH, but I think I am getting
there. I was on a high for a day or two
and then it freaking caught up with me, and I have had 2 days now where
literally I am worthless. I ave gone for
some 30-40 min easy easy jogs without bringing GPS, I swam 15 minutes ish to
just feel good and play in water….but ther eis no way I am PUSHING anything
because 1st I cannot- my body physically won’t let me. It is like I weigh 100 more lbs than usual
right now…. And 2nd.. I know better… need this time to just
recover. I am abit extra dizzy all week,
so trying to take in some extra fluids… I think because of this, I feel kind of
like I don’t really “know” how to respond when people ask how the race
was? It was awesome!!! But then I see
pics like this:
and wow…… that
doesn’t look like so much “fun”!!!!!
But I also remember moments like this:
where I felt strong, loved the heat on my
back, loved passing people for miles and miles, loved the focus and feeling
strong and fit and in control of my body….
yep… Eagleman…
I will be back
J I still love you somehow…..!!!!! or at least I love training for you!!!!
