Monday, July 31, 2023



 When I was trying to decide my “company name” way back in 2006, I had a few things I was going back and forth between.  But I felt very strongly on “Rising Sun Fitness” for so many reasons.

It is the small reasons to say I chose that because I love the sun, because I teach bootcamps which are during the “rising sun.”

What I felt an enormous pull towards was the fact that :  I believe ridiculously strongly in:  EVERY SINGLE DAY WE HAVE CHOICES- A NEW DAY FULL OF THE GIFT OF CHOICES- how do we choose to live?!  With each rising sun, we are given new hope, a new glimmer of promise towards chosen the direction we want to take.

I’m a big believer in “seasons”.  Many of you know: yes I am a huge NEW YEARS Resolution fan.  But just as much as that, I am a fan of SEASONS- every season- what is your goal for it?  Where are your intentions?  And sometimes that may mean it is a season of rest, recovery and rejuvenation!  But it is INTENTIONAL and purposeful!

We are nearing a NEW SEASON- We have August, but then we are entering SEPTEMBER- a new season in so many ways.

That you never took this life and world for granted?  That each day you had open arms and open heart for LIFE!

Each of us have different things that we are running towards and SEEKING AND welcoming and REALIZING!  It reminds me of something I remember doing when my kids were small, when I was working, trying to also start my own business, trying to also be my own person, etc.  As a person who experiences anxiety and depression, I would sometimes feel so weary and overwhelmed with all these different things PULLING ON MY SHOULDERS and making me heavy and weary.  Until I made myself every single day, on the way back when I would usually come back or transition / have a few minutes between morning sessions, when I would take 90 seconds to say, “What do I GET to do today?!” And it has made such a difference in my life!  To realize- I don’t “HAVE TO” walk the dogs!  I GET TO!  That is such a luxurious GIFT!  I GET to train all these people that I really truly LOVE-= yes at the end of the day I am TIRED, but I am also so FILLED by knowing that I am living the life I was PUT HERE FOR!

So, I read something recently that reminded me of “what are you running TOWARDS?”

Of course at first I thought, geez, I cannot have big goals in fitness because my back and hips. Geez, this and that.  And then I softened and thought:

*I’m running towards DAYS- what I can do every single day!  Not what I could do 10 years ago, but TODAY!  I’m running towards filling up with GRATITUDE for what I CAN do- even participating brings me joy!

*I’m running towards the things that SCARE me!  Even silly things that I feel a little unsure of, a slight tremor deep within, when I am feeling unsure of myself then I realize this is something I MUST DO. 

*I’m running towards daily recognition of light and connection; towards being pulled to the people, places and things that are SHINING sometimes right in front of me that are sometimes so easy to walk right by!  Even little moments- passing people on their daily walks and saying hello- what LIGHT that is, isn’t it?!  Seeing people enjoying my garden is a moment of light!  And seeing the beautiful sunrise, connecting with nature- what LIGHT and miracles abound right in front of us! Noticing the little blessings, the moments of good brings light to my heart!

*I’m running towards balance.  This has always been so hard for me, but I’m getting better at it and working on self- talking myself through when I don’t feel like I “deserve” to rest.  I sometimes feel silly that I can hang out at the pool for a bit each day- like, what a lazy person I must be to be able to read a book during the workday! But I self- talk myself to recognize that this is the balance that allows me to bring energy to other places in my life.

*I’m running towards intentional choices and action.  I’m enjoying reminding myself of the things that I value and believe in, and running right towards those on a daily basis, without apology.  I value and believe in going out of my way for others, trying to be light for others, challenging my mind, body and spirit.

*I’m running towards EACH RISING SUN !  I'm running towards exhilaration and LIFE!

As the seasons are going to be changing in a month, it’s grounding to ask these questions of ourselves so that we can determine where we are headed, so that we follow that direction, and have the integrity to act upon the things we value highly in our life.

Thursday, July 27, 2023



(posting this quite late):

I want to write more.  I love using this space (for mostly myself!) to solidify my thoughts in writing.

I have a race in 5 days- Rev3 Olympic Distance triathlon in Williamsburg.  I’m really excited!

And not because I’m so highly trained/ fiercely focused as I used to be.

Nope, I am SO TRULY grateful for being able to participate.  To freaking SHOW UP with legs that are working.  I had such a hard time getting my leg to function since last October and was struggling for months to MOVE.  I would have to turn around 2 driveways away.  I questioned if I was just weak or making some mental issue about my leg.  I did not (and do not) understand what was going on.  I am SO GRATEFUL for being able to go out and jog.  And even “run”.  I know people make up all these rants about using the word JOGGING.  GOSH I was SO thankful to jog again. Who CARES what I call it!  (because it wasn’t running for a little bit!)  but it was OUTDOORS, in the air, in my space.  I am so lucky.

So, I’m really looking forward to this race and it is kinda FUNNY to me.  I’m looking so fully forward to being OUT THERE.  In the water.  On the roads.  On my feet!

And, in the past, I always have.  But….  I was so TENSELY CLENCHING ONTO BIG GOALS previously.  So, it feels really FREEING to be prepared enough to work hard.  Within my abilities.  And literally EMBRACE and ENJOY the reality of NOW.

I feel like myself in a somehow “integrated” way.  Somehow being able to blend and balance my hardcore fierce being with a softer version, willing to be okay with “what is.”

Like I am learning that to be overly attentive to numbers/seconds/data driven points takes me out of the place (which is the present) where learning and growth and joy happen.


So, now I update this the night before the race.

It’s been a day.  I left this morning so unsettled and had honestly a rotten drive to the race.  A big mental funk.  A life funk.  And I didn’t even feel like myself in the car, just ruminating over my purpose in life, quite frankly.  And I honestly just felt bone dry and sad.  And embarrassed and unworthy, just not in my centered place.  I came out of it a little bit, but it rocked me and I’m hoping I wake up tomorrow going back to my place filled with gratitude.  Being UNBOTHERABLE😊  Not letting any single thing get me down.  Not letting anything have that power over living the best day I can. 

I read one of Maria Shriver’s weekly newsletters a few weeks ago, and she talked about how when she was growing up, her dad used to say, I’m the luckiest guy in the world!  And I really liked that.  We should all feel that way.  And it reminded me to daily try to remember that- we truly are living great lives, even amidst hard things. So, tomorrow, in the James River, may I feel like the luckiest person to be free in the water.  On the 2000 feet of climbing, may I feel like the luckiest and strongest person I can be to travel these roads under my own power.  And what is SURE TO BE BLAZING HOT HUMIDITY, may I feel like the luckiest girl to be able to move my body across the land under my own power, strength, grit and resilience.


POST RACE:  I finished, I am so very glad I did this race!  Morning of race, I was nervous – just feeling unsettled and ….well nervous.  Mostly about the swim- I didn’t like not seeing the swim- it was weird location- in the middle of these marshy areas and I just kept thinking- there is no way there could be alligators there, right??  The water quality looked really worrisome… I was maybe looking for reasons to be nervous?  I haven’t done a tri since last August, and I think with being off of running for so long, it just got me off my regular feeling of being confident that I can do these things.  All of this made me even more convinced of how much I need to keep doing these things that make me nervous, push me, take me out of my comfort zone.

Swim started- it was a rolling start vs. age group start.  That still is a little bit new to me, I’ve only had 1 other tri with rolling start.  This was a jump from a dock and I always worry if someone is going to jump on me before I can get out of the way.  It was fine.  (you’d think one day I would learn that worrying isn’t making anything better).  My swim felt really long and strong.  Not necessarily fast, but I had no issues with breathing, I just got settled in really quickly.  There was definitely some confusion on the course/ the placement of buoys.  We were supposed to keep all buoys on left so I Was sighting this furthest buoy but then I saw once almost there that people weren’t actually going around that one- it led to like a marshy islandy area… good grief, so I went out of my way with sighting that buoy.  I wasn’t thrilled or appreciative.  After that it seemed good and I felt strong to the finish.  It wasn’t a great “time” but honestly, I cared more that I FELT FINE.

Transition 1 was fast and straightforward.  Getting ONTO bike- a woman fell off her bike in front of me and a car that was slowly coming through the road nearly ran into her/ she almost slid under the car.  It was really terrifying.  I saw Rachel, a friend who I also coach, as she was starting the bike leg of her first 70.3- it was GREAT to see her and I just felt so happy to be out there on the roads with her!

BIKE: I got on and went.  Overall the bike felt GOOD, but I never felt like I was really giving it a BIG PUSH.  I was like going at a level that was like 7.5/10- like I wasn’t willing? Or just very heistant? To push more and burn myself out.  I feel like that was just a little bit of lack of training- like I don’t really know HOW MUCH I CAN DO,/ how much I can push …  I haven’t trained too hard because there is that line I don’t want to cross with injury and pushing to a point where I’m going to be out of running again for awhile… So I just don’t even think I have that range in me that I used to have. And I don’t want to push past lines that I used to push past that maybe led to injury.  The bike course was 30 miles instead of a standard 25 miles for Olympic distance.  I haven’t gotten in many LONG rides, 40 was my longest, so 30 was fine, but also noticeable to me that it was longer than the typical 25.  There was talk about how much climbing was in this race.  I had driven a portion of the course the day before and it didn’t look too bad, so I was wondering where the huge hills were- yes they were near the turn around, but it honestly wasn’t overall as I think they said it was?  I think I went “strong” on the bike- I don’t regret it, but I do “wonder” what it would have been like to push a little bit more…. Or…. Like I Used to😊

T2- Got off bike- run shoes on, fuel belt, and GO.  Felt Ok.  Of course it wasn’t like “fresh legs” but also not dead stumps like had I been pushing harder.  I had to stop at like ¼ mile because I’ve been dealing with some foot pain and I didn’t think that my shoe was cinched tight enough, I didn’t really want to take the time to bend over, but I did. (and let’s face it… it’s not like I am SO FAST that a few seconds cinching shoelaces really takes me to a new level, haha!) First mile was over a bridge- I had practiced it yesterday so I knew it actually wasn’t as bad as it maybe looked, but I wasn’t sure what it would feel like at the end of a swim/bike.  It was okay and I was running “solid.”  It was open sun at that point, definitely getting very toasty.  2nd mile at about the halfway point led into shade and I was so thankful (yes only time of life I appreciate shade!) but I was hoping to “manage” ok.)  It wasn’t a hugely populated race, and it was odd- I couldn’t tell if I loved that it was kind of lonely out there or liked it. I think it was a mix of both- I kind of enjoyed being in JUST MY PLACE and PACE, but also was really happy to see someone either me passing, I don’t think there were many people passing me, but some people on the way back and it was nice to see!  Water stations were helpful- I took ice and put down my swimsuit, ice water over head. (I had my own water to carry to drink).  I was happy to get to the turn around- still shaded but it was still pretty toasty.  As I made it back to mile 4 I realize ok you only have ½ mile of shade left and then it’s going to FEEL really worse.  I took more ice in my swimsuit and it was so helpful.  Once I got on the bridge to go back towards finish line- under a mile left- although it was really exposed and sunny, there was actually a nice breeze over the bridge that I could feel.  I was trying to push as much as I could to the finish- with ½ mile left.  Gosh, I wish I had more speed in these legs, but I did what I could, and it felt nice to be finishing my first triathlon after the year I had.  Once again, it was really a devastating and confusing 3 months not knowing why I couldn’t even take steps/ what was going on with my calf/shin/hip, and I was so thankful to finish. How LUCKY AM I that my leg/hip/back is letting me do things I love still😊