What is YOUR SUCCESS?

 

WHAT DOES SUCCESS LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

We spend so much of our life chasing success. Each day, we are after something, right? We wouldn’t do the jobs we do, go after our goals unless we had hope for success. But often, we don’t really pause and step back and evaluate- really- what does success look and feel like?

At the end of the day, at the end of the training cycle, the work of the project, the raising of kids, what does success look like? What does it feel like? Are we going to find that we were climbing a ladder that was propped against the wrong wall all along? If we don’t really become true and clear on the pillars and definition of our success, we may well find that our energy didn’t even bring us to the place we wanted to go…. Simply because, well, we had our work in a misguided lane or were lacking clarity on our intentions.

It’s an interesting thing to find that success in the end often comes back to simply success in the process, in the work, the building, problem solving, adjusting, showing up. We tend to have this long-term mindset on the pinnacle, the main event far off in the future, when today is the real main event. It is always this series of smaller successes. What we put off, what we don’t go after today, we are effectively making a choice to steer away from our dream. If we aren’t going towards it, we are going away from it. If we aren’t intentionally placing our attention and taking action on the process, we are sliding further away.

If we don’t take the time to pause and discern our real truth of success, we might confuse success with a comparison against someone else’s success. If we end up in 2^nd place, were we not successful? The definition of success shouldn’t be a black and white #1 or gold medal ranking, or even in other avenues- the job, the sale, the promotion, because your journey can be very successful even when, at this moment, someone landed higher/better/faster/further. They are in their lane; you are in your lane. So, what is success in YOUR lane. How can you position yourself to do the work, the buildup and preparation, so that you know fully, you already have success in some ways even before the outcome is decided.

And I know to some extent this all sounds hokey. Of course there is one winner- that certainly is success. AND it can be ALSO true that not being #1 can be a success, depending on what you have defined as success and your intentions that keep you committed to the process. As in goal setting, success can have layers and levels, intention on the journey matters.

This past week, I’ve been having my focus on INTENTIONS – even more than ever. I always know the purpose of my workout or training plan for the day, and I always set a yoga intention for any practice I do. But going even deeper, I wake up and try to set an intention of gratitude for the gift of this day, but also what success looks like on that day.  If I have a phone conversation, be it work or personal, I try to set an intention.  In all of my sessions, classes, trainings, I have a clear intention- what am I fully trying to do- not just the workout (but of course that is important also) but more fully- I want people to leave feeling better than they came, I want them to have laughed or felt light hearted, or proud of themselves or inspired. Living intentionally driven has reminded me to focus on the why, the purpose, the heart of each thing.  It has reminded me at times that- I can spend less energy on this thing possibly- the intention may be just to do the thing (maybe cook the dinner!) with the least amount of my effort, just getting the job done and not letting it deplete my energy. The layers of success are built with awareness of intention after intention, each step of the way.

ALWAYS KNOW YOUR WHY...

 

Why am I running the Kauai Marathon?

I am giddy with excitement that in less than 2 months, I will be running in the Kauai marathon. This will be my 3^rd visit to Kauai, my first time in this particular marathon, and maybe my 10^th ish marathon ever?  (I need to go back to count, I stopped counting marathons when I did an Ironman and didn’t know if that marathon should be counted)... I digress…

WHY- the question of why we decide to do things is always important, and it is often this clear and heartfelt “why” that brings you through rough patches along the way. The answer to this question for me is both so very simple and also woven with complexity and meaning.

The simple answer is that I somehow have had the Aloha spirit running through my blood since I was a kid. We visited Hawaii when I was 13 and I KNEW I was at home. As it does to so many, the Hawaiian air speaks to my soul in a way that can bring me to tears.  To ignore this truth and inner knowing that I deeply sense in this magical land would be against who I am. There is a deep pull of my heart in Hawaii, and I will follow!

2 days after my 50^th birthday is when I travel to run this marathon, and what a gift to myself it will be to celebrate in such a special way! Now- the complicated part is that I am traveling solo to this race. I began traveling solo in 2019 and have learned and grown so much by having the courage to step out into the unknown alone. I feel like it is a complicated decision to travel solo as I am married and have two kids.  Both my children will be leaving for college a week or so before I travel this time, but even in these past years, I have made it a priority to take time for myself to travel alone. I have gone through many feelings about this- selfishness, guilt, fear and excitement. However, after each trip, and even during, there is a full inner knowing that this time is so important and special and good.

These trips remind me of who I am. I have time to do exactly the things that light up my heart, fuel my soul, and it is the one chance as a mom that I don’t have to be prioritizing others in front of listening to my own self. It is a treasure to wake up for the sunrise, do yoga with my toes in the sand, eat when and what I want, hike, swim, run, exercise all the things I love to do without worrying about anyone else’s thoughts on this schedule.  I can unapologetically be myself.

When you decide to listen to your own heart, take care of yourself fully, it can be hard and new.  We aren’t always taught how to take care of ourselves, or that it is even the right thing to do. It is thought of as unnecessary, selfish, over the top. Yet I have learned, that we cannot do the work of this lifetime of ours, live our truest life if we aren’t in a space where we can first fill our own cup to be able then to share. To honor and love ourselves so that we can then have the fullest capacity to do the same for others.

I’ll be honest, when I arrive on the Hawaiian Islands, my cheeks hurt within a few hours because I just cannot stop smiling. I have a deep sense of awe, my senses are on overload, and I am reminded that God created an absolute masterpiece. It is absurdly magical. But I also have a sense sometimes of an element of fear in traveling alone, which reminds me of why I MUST go. The fears are varied- both legitimate and not. I worry that I won’t be able to undo the lock of the vrbo that I am staying in (why do I sometimes find those lockboxes so hard to get into/ in the dark, I’m still unsure of my surroundings at that point). I have the usual worries that I will be hiking and come back to find my rental car windows shattered, or any of the things that can happen.  I worry that I will be too nervous to go eat alone, enjoy a drink at happy hour all by myself.  I don’t want to feel like I am undeservedly taking up space somewhere without having someone next to me. And in going, in showing up and doing the thing that gives me some pause and hesitation, I build self-confidence and remind myself that I have everything I need to take care of myself. I remember that I am worthy on my own. I am not afraid to sit by myself and enjoy time by myself, I don’t need to apologize. I learn that I can handle the little things that go wrong on a trip, as they do. I can depend on myself. There is enormous power in learning to trust myself, in learning that it is okay to take time by myself, that I can fully enjoy being with my own self.

And what better place to learn these lessons than in Kauai, my heaven on earth! Now, why can I not just go and vacation in Kauai without the marathon?  Well, I could.  But, I’ve done marathons and triathlons for nearly 30 years, and just as traveling solo teaches me about myself, so do marathons. I run my own fitness company called Rising Sun Fitness, and I fully believe in practicing what I teach, walking the walk, and doing hard things. It makes me a better coach and trainer and person to be in the arena of these challenges.

When I’m running in marathons and moving through the land on my own two feet, I feel connected with the spaces that I’m moving through, the land that I’m on. I get to fully experience the place that I’m in, be in complete awareness of body, breath, the air around I’m connected with, how I’m willing myself forward, how I’m in connection with runners surrounding me going through similar struggles. In the training, and the race itself, I am often forced to peel the layers down to my deepest self, to find what I am made of.

 I still have the fire to do hard and uncomfortable things. I’m never sure of the result, but I’m still willing to put myself into that vulnerable spot of stepping into the arena. I love the practice of fighting self-doubt, empowering myself by training my body and mind together- one just as important as the other.  And so it goes- day by day, magic is created. You practice becoming the person you want to be, asking yourself questions about your tenacity and will, and then doing the thing. Taking the action. Showing up for yourself, becoming the strongest version of yourself possible. Feeling the exhilaration of the work and preparation being molded into the fiber of your being, and stepping into life fully, living with awe, awareness and respect for the life we are in. Living the Aloha spirit, essentially! This is my WHY!