KAUAI Marathon 2025

Kauai marathon, 8/31/2025

I flew to Kauai on Wednesday for this Sunday race! I think that was perfect timing to get there, settle in and loosen up after 14 hours in the air, adapt to the time change, etc. I think it would have been even better had I not done so much hiking on Thursday that my hips then quads were still sore on race morning!!!  However, I wouldn’t have changed anything because I got in great hikes that I absolutelky adored and still managed the marathon!

Some super quick background: I just feel so lucky that I was able to even do this marathon. When I had a bad ankle sprain this spring, I didn’t know what that would mean- especially for the hiking that I wanted to do daily. I wrapped the ankle (that is still swollen) before the marathon and didn’t have any problems. In addition, I hurt my knee about 4-5 weeks before the race. For a solid 2 weeks, I wasn’t able to even take walks without pain. Sometimes I could run, but I would finish and it would be so painful and stiff. Obviously, I was super concerned, but I think it was a bone bruise and with enough icing, I got it to heal! I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for this.

I trained myself hard for this race, and took my weekly training plan very serious. It was one of my goals for the year to actually coach myself again. To treat myself like one of the athletes I coach and to follow my plan, do my best, and be as prepared and fit as possible. I did that, and I’m proud of myself.

I built to 50-54 miles per week for my top 4 weeks of training. I did a few new things in my training:

1.      I tried to mimic approx the total time I would be out there on race day. So that doesn’t mean I ran 26 beforehand, but I did run 23 as my long run (which is a good thing for my run level and pace). But then I continued with a walk, so that my total moving time (so metabolically, muscularly, mentally, I would have my systems prepared for the length).

2.      I also did the same idea as above except followed up my long run with strength sessions (lower body) to build leg strength on tired legs.

3.      The final changes made was that I really blocked my weeks: I would do long run, FOLLOWED by 2 more (at least) consecutive days of running, with one of these days a significant mid distance run of 14-15. By blocking/stacking these run days- it would then give me 2 days/week – Thurs and Friday off of running (usually Thurs would be swim or bike day, then pretty much always off on Friday) to repair and recover. I think this really worked well to the point of what I was trying to accomplish. It let me train hard/get in lots of miles on tired legs (u can’t always train on fresh legs because then aren’t teaching the body how to recruit accessory muscles to come into play.

DAYS BEFORE RACE: hiking Thursday and Friday wasn’t ideal if my goal was to PERFORM OPTIMALLY in the marathon.  But I would choose it again based on how the race went. The other component I would repeat is my nutrition the week of race. I knew last year I had messed up my stomach with tomatoes/too much acid before a late summer race. When I got to Kauai- I came with oatmeal, an apple and a tuna packet and whole grain wrap for each day. Super easy to open the packet at the beach or end of a hike, dump it in wrap, roll it up and boom. So basically each day, I would have banana in am (stopped at walmart immediately after landing for my usual:  bananas and wine), pour hot water over oatmeal in a paper cup and put in the car to be oatmeal for after a hike, bring an apple, then have a wrap/tuna at some point. I also had bars with me, also peanut butter pretzels. I would eat something else that I would purchase- (always drinks/ I did go to happy hour daily), I was slightly concerned that I was cutting food short, not getting in enough calories. Oh, I also had a few bagels- maybe 2 blueberry that I had brought from home and kind of ate as needed. I also took at least one electrolyte tab, usually 2 (one always was a NUUN, the other would be a liquid iv packet- plus I liked that would give me some calories without fiber in this pre race week. I’m not saying at all that I would recommend this eating plan for someone else, but honestly it worked for me in the end and -- to do a marathon with NO GI ISSUES, omgosh I’ll TAKE IT!!) *The night before- I boiled up these soba noodles that I had brought from home and mixed another packet of tuna in. (I don't even like tuna, but, honestly, if it allows me to travel on a food budget, I'll take it!) (I made up for it in happy hours and also had a few meals out that were great!)

·       RACE MORNING: race started at 6 so I planned to get there at 4, planned to get up at 3:15. Well- I basically was ramped up at 2am with no HOPE for more sleep. I left the vrbo at 3:50- got there at 4. I had 2 hours to mingle, walk around, and I reminded myself to get off legs and sit!

·       Things (gi) system was feeling super smooth and I thought I was fine going to bathroom, but at like 5:10, I had a wave come over me like noooo pls nooo! Do not let this be a story in my day!! I went to bathroom, prayed (literally) (and it was all I asked other people to pray for me for- pray for my gi system)!! that this would be the end. Luckily it was!!!

·       There was a 30 min walk to start line and a Hawaiian ceremony-was beautiful! Then it was time!! To RUN!!!!

At race ceremony, even walking over I had this intense urge to pee. I have never had that before, I couldn’t believe it. The race started and the first two miles, all I could think is that I cannot believe this- I need to pee and I was giving serious consideration to possibly stopping bc it was uncomfortable and distracting.

Mile 1: I knew this mile was flat to begin and I always love a nice flat start! I settled in nice and calm, yea.

Mile 2 we turned left and were supposed to start an incline. Well, I didn’t really feel an incline, I thought hmmm, well maybe soon…. I was feeling a perfect maybe 6-6.5/10 effort- exactly on plan.

Mile 3: took the first few sips of a UCAN gel, and also just noticing my surroundings and all sorts of interesting things.  First, there is a guy near me wearing khaki shorts and a button down Hawaiin shirt. Interesting- even if he is doing the half, wtf? Also, so many women wearing these new fancy like “skort” things with like “pleats” on the skirt so that every step their skirt balloons up in the air and it looks like it is swishing on their legs when it comes down. I don’t know, but that would drive me crazy feeling all of that movement around me/ fabric tapping on me each step. Just interesting to notice.  Also, a few people just HOLDING their phones (more on phones later)- but I wouldn’t even want to hold my phone for a 3 mile jog. Anyway, each to their own, I was just noticing all of these things and still wondering where the hill was. Pace 8:23- noticing my pace continuing to warm up, but I still am at my 6-6.5/10 effort as to plan.

Mile 4: I take in some water sips from my flask because while the sun isn’t out- it is cloudy and sun still rising, it is already HUMID. I’m already sweating quite a bit, just keeping this in mind. 8:11.

Mile 5: I am honestly wondering where the hill is.  Later, when I drove these roads, I did notice there was an incline, so it was there, but I just didn’t notice it, it wasn’t bad and it was all just gradual along the way, and now we enter the TREE TUNNEL- just beautiful and spectacular to be able to be ON FEET taking this all in. When in the world do you have an opportunity to run through the tree tunnel and have this time to really be feet on the earth, fully immersed and experiencing it.  It was pure awe and joy. I just was smiling honestly the whole time. 8:31

Mile 6, Tree tunnel continues and I just remember this mile as being fully just loving how I am feeling on this day.  Running easy, feel strong on my legs, breathing easy, happy heart. I take a few more sips of my ucan gel- my plan for first 10 miles is to take some sips every 3 miles. 9:11

Mile 7: we take a left onto a main road.  There is a lane closed down, but I notice tons of traffic going in the opposite direction, it is only like 7 am now- not sure if there is more traffic because other roads are closed maybe.  I start to notice also that I’m taking the tangents, doesn’t seem like anyone else around me is, but I personally am not going to add distance to my marathon, so I try to keep aware of where the most direct line is to where we are going.  Plus, that is helpful to stay aware and present. 8:22

Mile 8: My mind does some sort of little anxiety flutters, not because I’m feeling bad, but because I’m falling into my “forward thinking” trap. Like how will this go?  How will I feel in 10 more miles, in 16 more miles.  I remind myself to be where my feet are, enjoy my surroundings, absorb every moment.  So, I am aware of trying to be present, but I’m also feeling some of my tendencies to worry about how things will unravel. 8:07

Mile 9: I have a few people running near me holding super steady pace with me, I’m so thankful. One guy is quite tall and I do tuck behind him (until he isn’t running the tangents).  Then we end up really shoulder to shoulder for most of this mile.  I ask him quietly- “steady pace, are you doing half or full?” I was hoping he was doing the full because I wanted to have someone right at my pace to kind of try to lock in with.  He said the half though.  We just asked where each other were from- he was from Austrailia but living/working in  NC. Here I go- 3^rd sips of my UCAN gels.  7:25

Mile 10: Now another guy running our pace asked me, because he heard that I said I was from Virginia, where in VA I was from.  He said he was from Falls Church, so then somehow we got chatting a little bit about did I grow up in VA/ no, but I went to college at UVA/ then he is asking if I happened to know a few of his friends (I didn’t)(shocking)/ he mentioned he went to MCV (which is where I was DYING to go to med school- waitlisted twice- 2^nd time after becoming a VA resident, uggggg).. So, we were chatting TOO MUCH and I didn’t honestly like it because I knew I didn’t want my energy going into chatting. I finally said, it is nice to meet you, I can’t talk anymore.  I couldn’t tell if I was just worried about my energy, or if I was losing it, but I knew my goal wasn’t to be social during a marathon. 7:32

Mile 11: Now we are at a place where the half/full split in opposite directions.  After I split off and began going uphill, there was a guy who was yelling out, “you are definitely in top 10 of women” which surprised me.  I honestly wasn’t trying and certainly wasn’t expecting to be. Part of me was like hmmmmm…. What if??!!  And then the rest of me was like, “sharon, your goals for this race are to (not have major GI issues all over Kauai) but to run with JOY and just SOAK UP THIS BUCKET LIST EVENT…. So I reminded myself to stick with exactly where I knew I needed to be pace wise. I had a Cliff Block this mile because I think I wanted the caffeine from it since I was worried I expended too much energy talking. It reminded me why I don’t like blocks during running- so hard to chew, then I feel like I Need a tooth brush, but… I don’t regret it, and I was happy to maybe feel some jolt of caffeine. 7:43.

Mile 12: Ok geez, here is the hill, mercy. It’s a hill.  Just stay with yourself Sharon. Manage your energy. Plug along. I think it was somewhere around here where there was a family sitting on the hill in their front yard and I glanced over, thought there was a dog sitting with them, then I notice as it got up and had horns, it was a goat!!! 9:29.

Mile 13: UH OH. I’m literally dying on this hill- I’m worried about my legs- which already started sore.  This hill is not just a hill, this is so significant that I am worried that I am not doing the right thing for my legs by running it. I don’t need to “win” the hill, I just need to not let the hill crush me for the next 13 miles. I started my 2^nd Ucan gel here. 9:58

Mile 14: Thank goodness we plateaued and I felt like I got my legs back. It boosted my confidence that yes, the hills will be hard, I was WARNED about this. AND… I have trained hills all summer, so my legs will be able to be resilient.  8:49

Mile 15: Here we go again, I knew this was going to be the hilliest part, mile 13-20- maybe I got thrown off because the first mile 1-7 was also supposed to be a hill that I didn’t really feel at all affected by.  But I am challenged here.  I grab ice water from aid station and pour over head. Felt amazing. Took some sips of ice water as well. My legs were screaming and I start to get serious about making choices that are not ego driven. I realize I might seriously need to consider walking the hill in order to be smart in the big picture. I relax shoulders/ everything I can so that I can just plug at this hill. 10:18

Mile 16: this is where it happens. I have to walk.  I am reminded walking uphills doesn’t mean a stroll, so I bent my arms and tried to lose as little time as possible. The people I was near pacewise aren’t really seeming to be gaining much ground on me at this point even though I was walking uphill.  It got a little easier, so I jogged.  Then again just boom we are gaining so much elevation that I notice it is a new temperature and a bit cooler, I walked again fast, and realize, while walking, make use of this time.  I had half a packet of mortal hydration mix in my belt and I had finished one of my water flasks, so I quick pour the powder in my empty flask and at next aid station, I am ready to pour ice water in.  PERFECT.  I quick run into the port o pot here- I don’t think I’m having an emergency, but it is a good time to regroup, I am fast in and out and get going again. 13:10.

Mile 17: So, the hills continue, and there is a point where I am walking and thinking, geez, while I’m walking, maybe I should call someone to let them know that I’m still going and just to “check in”….. and I’m very quickly like (first of all- if you even slightly know me, you know I hate the phone, I do not talk on the phone, so why would I even think about making a phone call), but more importantly--- what am I thinking? That I can get like a “lifeline” of someone to help me with energy?  NO.  just no. NO. You go into a marathon and you are on your own to make it through, no lifelines.  The sun is coming out, it is both once in awhile hot, but then a little breeze of  cool air comes, which I am thankful for.  We are now in these neighborhoods that I would have NEVER SEEN/ never driven through except for this opportunity of a marathon. The people were GREAT. Such fun neighborhoods, so great to see where people live, the local Hawaii vibe, everyone is happy and helpful. A guy had a stand out that had dixie cups with soda, Ohhhh I was so grateful.  I’m continuing to do a run/walk as needed to be smart about the hills.  I want to run as much as possible, so even if it isn’t fast, I do that, but when I realize that the smartest thing to do on the biggest climbs is to walk, I don’t beat myself up. 9:05

Mile 18: There is some rolling hills in here, so I’m thankful for any downhill opportunity honestly! I am telling myself to just be in this mile.  That right now, I am mentally ONLY thinking about getting to 20 miles.  *The plan was at 20 miles things start to go back down in elevation, so I am just trying to stay gritty and work in here.  There is a stand with orange slices, I grab 2 and am so thankful for the tang of the juice. As I’m struggling, I try to keep encouraging others that I also see struggling.  If we are both walking and I start, I would say, come with me, let’s go… OR- if they pass me as I’m walking, I tell them they are doing amazing.  It helps them AND me.  Some people do a slight response, some people have zero response and I realize they are listening to earbuds.  I am slightly annoyed by this- like- that pulls you out of the event we are in- we are in this together, but you cannot really be part of the fabric of what we are doing if you cannot even hear.  Just my opinion. 9:36.

Mile 19: I’m now at the point- with taking in ice cold mortal, which is sooooo good, the 2 tiny sodas, the oranges, along with the ice water dumping over my head that my stomach is having not GI issues…. But definitely it’s clenching and bloating. I feel like my skin on my stomach is so tight I have no room for expanding  my stomach to breathe, so I’m a little bit worried and try to get myself to only take in water so I don’t overdo the stomach. There is huge uphill here and I am walking again, this is all just such a grind.  But I remind myself when walking, “my intention is to be FULL OF JOY in this race” so anytime I walk, I tell myself to LOOK UP! And what do you know? I see immediately this beautiful, deep purple, vibrant flowering bush in someone’s yard. There is beauty everywhere.  The neighborhoods are beautiful, the volunteers are amazing, I am focusing on gratitude for this opportunity and for so much GOOD! 11:51.

Mile 20: Ok, I made mile 20, things will be less hilly now… WRONG. I’m not sure why we are still climbing up.  The elevation profile in the map did not say this.  But, it’s got to be soon, so stop thinking sharon. I am now back to where I am taking 1 sip of mortal at every mile marker and at the half mile markers, taking some water. So, I am just little bit by little bit making it through, doing anything I can to mentally persevere. The hills continue. 10:35

Mile 21: So, we are supposed to be going downhill but we aren’t, but at least we have some rollers in here, up and down.  We come to a neighborhood with tons of cheering and energy.  There is a few women standing in the middle of the road asking if we want them to use what I think was a leaf blower to blow “cold air” on us to “push us up the hill”.  I was so confused.  I am so sorry but I am sure my face was like, whaaaaaattt????  First- do those leaf blowers blow cold air? And also, just NOOOOO I did not want a loud blast of questionable air blasting at me. I shook my head, NO.  I think maybe other people wanted this because they seemed surprised that I didn’t want that? But yea, absolutely NO.

On the other hand, what was AMAZING right past this- was a woman giving out ice soaked washcloths that we could HAVE. OMG I honestly think THIS WASHCLOTH got me through! I ended up holding it in right hand for a mile, then left hand a mile, alternating to the finish line. It was a LIFESAVER!

Another great spectating thing was big BUBBLE machines- actually all sorts of bubble machines- one was a small bubble maker.  Just such little glimmers of joy, and sometimes it was nice to have just “quiet energy” instead of like cowbells (or leaf blowers).  There were also hula dancers on the side, some people keeping a run cadence with drumbeats, which was a highlight also. 10:28.

Mile 22. I’m just waiting, PATIENTLY WAITING for this downhill.  What goes up must come down, so WHEERREEEE IS IT?? And why was the map wrong? I am walking at least one hill in this mile again… I do feel slightly disheartened just because I’m like, “ I spent so much time studying that map, why wasn’t it correct”… I’m now on the “way back” while people are still going out- so I am passing them in the opposite direction.  I notice so many people doing maybe exactly what I considered- they are walking uphills talking on the phone. I have never noticed this.  I’m not a fan at all. I’m shocked by myself that I even considered it, and I m just reminded by how our tendency in the times we live in, is to be so accessible, to have just this fundamental inclination to go to the phone, go to electronics, to be anywhere but PRESENT.  I would have missed so much in this race had I been chatting to someone on the phone. 12:05

Mile 23: here we are at a point where there are 3 (plus a little) miles left. That is this 3 mile loop that I know at home, so I think to myself, you have one of these loops and you’ll have MADE IT! We have some downhill stretch here, I am so thankful to feel my legs actually just doing some running.  I still am taking in Ucan gel sips because I know anything can still happen.  I don’t want to cramp, I need to keep the energy/calories/electrolytes flowing. I need to stay with myself, stay within my energy, keep my mind positive, and NOT NEGOTIATE giving up. 9:28

Mile 24: It is kinda soul crushing to have more hills (UP) now, again.. this was not in the plan. But it is what it is, it’s been 4 miles now of evidence that we are not going all downhill. I walk the steepest part again and then am able to get running again. I was happy that even when I was walking, I would *first remind myself: LOOK UP- see the beauty, be in the intention of why you are here, which is to LOVE EVERY SECOND of this opportunity, then *second, I would make sure my walking wasn't just sauntering. I was trying to go decent so that I wasn't actually losing too much time to the people who were running. (At these inclines, I was lucky that I actually didn't lose too much!) Now, we are coming back towards the ocean which is so comforting. I am trusting myself that I can just manage through.  Every step is willful, every moment, I am using energy to continue willing myself forward, hydrating, switching washcloth hands, pacing myself through my last sips of mortal hydration (new to me this year from the IM 70.3 PA), taking ice water from aid stations. 10:04

Mile 25:  I’ve been WAITING FOR THIS LAST FULL MILE!!!  I wanted to get here, because then I knew, I was going to TALK MYSELF THROUGH to the end.  Here is the time when I had planned to be my own best cheerleader, commentating as if I were Kara Goucher, the BEST RUN COMMENTATOR EVER! And I start some dialogue in my head (don’t worry I wasn’t doing this out loud).  But I began commentating in 3^rd person (sports psych hack- use your mantras in 3^rd person saying your name), so I began:

Sharon is making it through this final mile. She is committed to the finish; She is trusting her training, her body, her mind and her focus to fight through every step.

Sharon has embraced this opportunity of love and passion for this land, she is asking herself to do hard things and to never give up.  This day is happening because she was intentional, and she followed her dreams and her heart. What a gift of a day, a gift of a lifetime!

Every step is a choice, either towards who you want to be, or away from yourself, and every step, she is going in HER direction, in the direction of filling her heart with joy, embracing this PARTY ON THE FEET! 10:07

Mile 26: 9:53.We get to the 26 mile marker and A guy there shouts out: you have 26 miles behind you, now ONLY ½ to the end!  I thought, what an idiot… he doesn’t know that a marathon is 26.2- not another half.  He just doesn’t know.  Then 100 feet down the road a woman yells, “Almost there- another ½ mile.” I literally want to die with these comments (I’m now wondering is there another hill too!!) It doesn’t matter, there is nothing that will stop me at this point. I haven’t even crossed the finish line, but I am already smiling- I know I can make it, I HAVE made it. I never gave up. What a journey.  It was every bit as amazing as I imagined.  It was MORE! I did love every bit of this, even the struggles. I wouldn’t have wanted it anything less than the challenge that it was😊 My heart is so full. A dream fulfilled.

****After the race, I was definitely wiped out, my blood pressure (as expected) dropped and I made sure to lay on the grass a few minutes.  They had these wrap slices there which I thought was a great idea- I got a turkey (like not a whole “wrap” but those segments)- and it had lettuce and tomato and I was so thankful for something like this, until I bit into it and there was bacon inside and I had to literally like roll it out of my mouth before I got sick.  Luckily, they also had diet soda which is just a necessity for me at the end, and chocolate milk, Chobani yogurt.  I think having the milk and yogurt (I kind of spread them out over an hour because so much dairy scared me!!) helped my recovery because I felt honestly fine after I got into dry clothes. I went into the ocean all afternoon and next day was carrying on with more hikes in this magical land, God's playground.

Part of me is curious what my legs would have been able to do if they weren’t sore from the 10 mile hike day that I did down to the canyon/back up/ then to the napali coast… but honestly I wouldn’t change that- those hikes are unforgettable. I’d love to go back and do this race again… (or just live there!)

 I didn't stop smiling much for this entire 26.2:) Ended up winning my NEW and OLDER age group! and was 10th woman overall- very proud of that, but mostly just proud of going after my dream and training really hard, putting myself completely out there!

On being 50!!!!!!!!!!!

 

On being 50…

 one week from today... I turn half a CENTURY!!

I am seeing life with a new lens of meaning and gratitude.

I am realizing and seeing that over the course of life, so many prayers have been answered, of course not on my time frame, yet in due/the right time. I am seeing beauty from scars and hope in valleys, and an ability to see that goodness abounds. I am learning that time gives life an amazing perspective.

Even as I realize I am simply not meant for cold weather and cannot seem to find an appreciation for it, I see and realize the glorious earth that holds our feet. I have always appreciated nature, but now I know very deeply that being outdoors speaks to my soul.  I find beauty in raindrops on flowers and grasses, delight in birdsong, animals that I find along my way, and awe in the sun and moon patterns. The diversity of leaves, patterns of bark on trees, the miracle of so many different flower structures can hold my attention and fill me up with awe. And that doesn’t even count staring at the ocean, feeling my toes in the sand, being on a miraculous beach. The sounds of birds chirping, seeing herons next to the lake, deer watching me run by, bunnies in the morning just make me smile.

Let me be clear that not everything is always rosy.  Yet, despite daily frustrations, I see the big picture of life being purposeful and the challenges being opportunities, the disappointments leading to growth. I catch myself more often now when I am in a place where I need to be careful and pause, step back and ask myself what it is that I need to take care of myself better. I have reminders, mantras, and knowings that while they may not always come naturally to me, they have been learned deeply, and I have the capability now to self-talk myself into the truth that brings a settled sense to my heart. I practice saying, “may I remember”often.

I’m learning to trust myself more. I don’t need any accolades from others, I don’t need to step into anyone else’s lane or race, and there is a strong inner voice leading me to exactly what is right for me. This is a huge battle for me to learn to trust my truth, and I will continue to be intentional about having the confidence to listen inwards and respond accordingly.

I am finding that what is right for me has changed. I still love following my goals, but the goals have changed, and the intensity has changed. I used to of course have time/race/performance goals, and I still do, however they are much softer and woven with meaning and life. I want these goals to work well in the fullness of my life; I am no longer willing to risk other things that are important to me to attain my full peak. It has to make sense to me in a deeper way. It has to be in alignment with my whole being and purpose.

Oftentimes now, I realize that less is more.

Professionally, I am full of gratitude at age 50 that I have done so much to follow my dreams and passion, and also have a chance on a daily basis to connect with people, change lives, and frankly be really good at what I do. It is with an inner sense of pride that I know I can see the big picture in what I do and that I am now coming from a place of having over 25 years of experience building the base of what I do, and I see how much I am connecting in the developing of fitness, wellness and health plans for people. I have a profound confidence that I am not really in competition with anyone else at this point, there isn’t a scarcity mindset that often has plagued me through life. It makes me smile to think that I didn’t necessarily get to do what I originally wanted to do as a career, yet… the end result is probably even better.

As I near 50, I appreciate not needing to explain myself or make excuses for following my path. It is ok with my heart that I might just not be everyone’s cup of tea.

Maybe most of all, I have been through some hard times that I wouldn’t choose. And yet….. here I am. Through the hardest times, through despair, loss, disappointment, I have learned that I can trust myself. And the harder those times have been, the more I see how I can depend on myself.  I have the tools and resources within, as a human… of 50 years…. To figure things out. To cope. To get through the day. And sometimes that isn’t easy, but it is the necessary task of the day. I now realize these lessons may not have been learned without the really rough times.

Through the years, I have also learned that I have “a right.”  A right to it all.  A right to speak, to feel my feelings, to be, to breathe easy, a right to make choices for myself. These may seem small, but it has been huge. I can unapologetically speak up for myself, I can go in the direction of my dreams. I can be who I am. Hardest of all, I have learned to sit. Some of you know that sitting on my porch is a love of mine, but it actually has taken work to be okay with that, to trust that I don’t need to be grinding nonstop to prove my worth. I can sit. I can be. As I often say in yoga, “nothing more, nothing less.”

I am in daily prayer and conversation and praise with God. I am so lucky to have zero doubts about my faith and what I believe. A lesson I’ve learned over the years that I hold near is that “God is with me, God is for me, and He absolutely loves me.” I am a child of God and I realize that I am lucky to have had the experiences that I have had to lead me to a place of true believing. Each day, I am blessed by waking up and I daily say a prayer of thanks for the gift of the day ahead.

50 years old is obviously a great milestone to reach, and I’m thankful and excited about it. While all of these positive thoughts may make it seem like life is just a joyous party, let me be clear that I’m not feeling daily like I’m living large and easy. In fact, days can be hard, stressful, frustrating and anxiety ridden. And yet I have gained some inner strength that helps me through, that helps me work to stay grounded where I am. Each day, I have tools that I can use to lighten a heavy load and keep a feeling of hope in my heart. I am thankful for the gift of each day.

CULPEPER TRI 2025

 

CULPEPER 2025

This was my 2^nd year doing Culpeper. I was shocked to do it last year for the first time and find that I had been missing such a great race that is only slightly over an hour away, a beautiful course.

This year, my preparation was not very specific at all because I had all eyes on the 70.3PA in June, then recovered from that and got right into my marathon build for end of August.  I did keep some biking and swimming going, but I do feel like I was just trying to ride the coattails of whatever fitness I could hold onto from the PA race.  And I was ok with that! 

My goals going in were: to feel solid in my preparation, strong on race day and to have a safe race. (I do not want any weird things happening before Hawaii).

I went down race morning and got set up uneventfully. They announced that the water temperature was 87 degrees.  I thought they were being sarcastic. Nope.  I actually was super nervous about this because I was worried there would be the possibility of bad water quality, but also that I would get that mushy/melty feeling that I sometimes get in the pool when the pool water is too warm. I’ve never been nervous about the water being too warm! Luckily, when we went off in the water, everyone seemed to string out with their various paces nicely and I never got that feeling of warm water fatigue.  The course did seem “long”—like I just felt like it was taking a long time.  I don’t think that I went off course because it was fairly straightforward and I remained on the buoys all the time, but my gps said it was 1800 m and my time was almost a minute slower than last year, which I was surprised because I actually felt pretty good during it.  That’s ok, it is what it is, I did exactly as I wanted to in this swim portion.

T1- I was nervous and I let it get into my head about the hill after transition, and my new bike shoes.  Long story short, I Had them clipped in as I normally do, but got in my head and just decided to get off my bike and take shoes off/ put them on, etc.  A reminder to trust myself and know that I know myself and could have done this/ to not get caught up in a spiraling thought pattern.

Once I was actually on my bike, I was happy and biking along!  The course is beautiful and I enjoyed the first loop! I did NOT enjoy the 2^nd loop really one single bit.  We were then mixed in with the sprint distance triathletes and there were too many people on these small, windy, twisty roads who were N OT STAYING RIGHT arghhhh.. so I kept yelling on your left… people would not move back in…. I’d have to say it again quickly and since the roads weren’t closed, I knew I shouldn’t cross into other side of the road.  I hated it.  It was unsafe.

I started the run and last year LOVED THE RUN and FELT SO STRONG and steady and oh my… I did not have that experience this year!!!!! The first big hill up just seemed so hard and long and I know last year I mentally had the plan of first mile just settle and so I tried that again. However, things didn’t get better.  It seemed to just get hotter and hotter! I tried every time we were in a bit of shade to let myself use that shade to keep my heart rate and feeling of effort from spiking too high and then in the sun, I reminded myself of how tan I was getting !!!!! There were only water stations on one side of the road, so for a 2 loop course, it really wasn’t adequate and I was trying to get ice water at each station to drink as well as pour over myself. My legs were tired, but it was mostly just the OPPRESSIVE feeling of high heart rate and making sure I didn’t literally cook myself over the line of what would be sustainable to get to the end. I brought a flask of mortal hydration, which I now LOVE, and I was really thankful to have that. I was trying to say good job to everyone out there that I either passed or whoever it seemed needed it- people were walking with calf cramps in a big way, and I imagine a lot of that was due to heat/sweat/electrolytes.

There were no port o pots on the course and everything seemed ok until mile 5.  And then, I Honestly was like… GET TO THE FINISH SOON BC….. you know…. So, I did and I made it… but… I think there could def. be a port o pot added, mercy.

I love the proximity of this race, but I’m honestly not too sure if I would do again because of the danger of the bike course.

The finish line/ after race was great.  They had diet soda which is a huge hit for me.  They had individually wrapped sandwiches and watermelon slices, so I was a fan! Overall, I’m glad I did the race since I’m only doing 2 tri’s this year most likely, and would really love to do it again if I felt confident in the bike safety.

What is YOUR SUCCESS?

 

WHAT DOES SUCCESS LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

We spend so much of our life chasing success. Each day, we are after something, right? We wouldn’t do the jobs we do, go after our goals unless we had hope for success. But often, we don’t really pause and step back and evaluate- really- what does success look and feel like?

At the end of the day, at the end of the training cycle, the work of the project, the raising of kids, what does success look like? What does it feel like? Are we going to find that we were climbing a ladder that was propped against the wrong wall all along? If we don’t really become true and clear on the pillars and definition of our success, we may well find that our energy didn’t even bring us to the place we wanted to go…. Simply because, well, we had our work in a misguided lane or were lacking clarity on our intentions.

It’s an interesting thing to find that success in the end often comes back to simply success in the process, in the work, the building, problem solving, adjusting, showing up. We tend to have this long-term mindset on the pinnacle, the main event far off in the future, when today is the real main event. It is always this series of smaller successes. What we put off, what we don’t go after today, we are effectively making a choice to steer away from our dream. If we aren’t going towards it, we are going away from it. If we aren’t intentionally placing our attention and taking action on the process, we are sliding further away.

If we don’t take the time to pause and discern our real truth of success, we might confuse success with a comparison against someone else’s success. If we end up in 2^nd place, were we not successful? The definition of success shouldn’t be a black and white #1 or gold medal ranking, or even in other avenues- the job, the sale, the promotion, because your journey can be very successful even when, at this moment, someone landed higher/better/faster/further. They are in their lane; you are in your lane. So, what is success in YOUR lane. How can you position yourself to do the work, the buildup and preparation, so that you know fully, you already have success in some ways even before the outcome is decided.

And I know to some extent this all sounds hokey. Of course there is one winner- that certainly is success. AND it can be ALSO true that not being #1 can be a success, depending on what you have defined as success and your intentions that keep you committed to the process. As in goal setting, success can have layers and levels, intention on the journey matters.

This past week, I’ve been having my focus on INTENTIONS – even more than ever. I always know the purpose of my workout or training plan for the day, and I always set a yoga intention for any practice I do. But going even deeper, I wake up and try to set an intention of gratitude for the gift of this day, but also what success looks like on that day.  If I have a phone conversation, be it work or personal, I try to set an intention.  In all of my sessions, classes, trainings, I have a clear intention- what am I fully trying to do- not just the workout (but of course that is important also) but more fully- I want people to leave feeling better than they came, I want them to have laughed or felt light hearted, or proud of themselves or inspired. Living intentionally driven has reminded me to focus on the why, the purpose, the heart of each thing.  It has reminded me at times that- I can spend less energy on this thing possibly- the intention may be just to do the thing (maybe cook the dinner!) with the least amount of my effort, just getting the job done and not letting it deplete my energy. The layers of success are built with awareness of intention after intention, each step of the way.

ALWAYS KNOW YOUR WHY...

 

Why am I running the Kauai Marathon?

I am giddy with excitement that in less than 2 months, I will be running in the Kauai marathon. This will be my 3^rd visit to Kauai, my first time in this particular marathon, and maybe my 10^th ish marathon ever?  (I need to go back to count, I stopped counting marathons when I did an Ironman and didn’t know if that marathon should be counted)... I digress…

WHY- the question of why we decide to do things is always important, and it is often this clear and heartfelt “why” that brings you through rough patches along the way. The answer to this question for me is both so very simple and also woven with complexity and meaning.

The simple answer is that I somehow have had the Aloha spirit running through my blood since I was a kid. We visited Hawaii when I was 13 and I KNEW I was at home. As it does to so many, the Hawaiian air speaks to my soul in a way that can bring me to tears.  To ignore this truth and inner knowing that I deeply sense in this magical land would be against who I am. There is a deep pull of my heart in Hawaii, and I will follow!

2 days after my 50^th birthday is when I travel to run this marathon, and what a gift to myself it will be to celebrate in such a special way! Now- the complicated part is that I am traveling solo to this race. I began traveling solo in 2019 and have learned and grown so much by having the courage to step out into the unknown alone. I feel like it is a complicated decision to travel solo as I am married and have two kids.  Both my children will be leaving for college a week or so before I travel this time, but even in these past years, I have made it a priority to take time for myself to travel alone. I have gone through many feelings about this- selfishness, guilt, fear and excitement. However, after each trip, and even during, there is a full inner knowing that this time is so important and special and good.

These trips remind me of who I am. I have time to do exactly the things that light up my heart, fuel my soul, and it is the one chance as a mom that I don’t have to be prioritizing others in front of listening to my own self. It is a treasure to wake up for the sunrise, do yoga with my toes in the sand, eat when and what I want, hike, swim, run, exercise all the things I love to do without worrying about anyone else’s thoughts on this schedule.  I can unapologetically be myself.

When you decide to listen to your own heart, take care of yourself fully, it can be hard and new.  We aren’t always taught how to take care of ourselves, or that it is even the right thing to do. It is thought of as unnecessary, selfish, over the top. Yet I have learned, that we cannot do the work of this lifetime of ours, live our truest life if we aren’t in a space where we can first fill our own cup to be able then to share. To honor and love ourselves so that we can then have the fullest capacity to do the same for others.

I’ll be honest, when I arrive on the Hawaiian Islands, my cheeks hurt within a few hours because I just cannot stop smiling. I have a deep sense of awe, my senses are on overload, and I am reminded that God created an absolute masterpiece. It is absurdly magical. But I also have a sense sometimes of an element of fear in traveling alone, which reminds me of why I MUST go. The fears are varied- both legitimate and not. I worry that I won’t be able to undo the lock of the vrbo that I am staying in (why do I sometimes find those lockboxes so hard to get into/ in the dark, I’m still unsure of my surroundings at that point). I have the usual worries that I will be hiking and come back to find my rental car windows shattered, or any of the things that can happen.  I worry that I will be too nervous to go eat alone, enjoy a drink at happy hour all by myself.  I don’t want to feel like I am undeservedly taking up space somewhere without having someone next to me. And in going, in showing up and doing the thing that gives me some pause and hesitation, I build self-confidence and remind myself that I have everything I need to take care of myself. I remember that I am worthy on my own. I am not afraid to sit by myself and enjoy time by myself, I don’t need to apologize. I learn that I can handle the little things that go wrong on a trip, as they do. I can depend on myself. There is enormous power in learning to trust myself, in learning that it is okay to take time by myself, that I can fully enjoy being with my own self.

And what better place to learn these lessons than in Kauai, my heaven on earth! Now, why can I not just go and vacation in Kauai without the marathon?  Well, I could.  But, I’ve done marathons and triathlons for nearly 30 years, and just as traveling solo teaches me about myself, so do marathons. I run my own fitness company called Rising Sun Fitness, and I fully believe in practicing what I teach, walking the walk, and doing hard things. It makes me a better coach and trainer and person to be in the arena of these challenges.

When I’m running in marathons and moving through the land on my own two feet, I feel connected with the spaces that I’m moving through, the land that I’m on. I get to fully experience the place that I’m in, be in complete awareness of body, breath, the air around I’m connected with, how I’m willing myself forward, how I’m in connection with runners surrounding me going through similar struggles. In the training, and the race itself, I am often forced to peel the layers down to my deepest self, to find what I am made of.

 I still have the fire to do hard and uncomfortable things. I’m never sure of the result, but I’m still willing to put myself into that vulnerable spot of stepping into the arena. I love the practice of fighting self-doubt, empowering myself by training my body and mind together- one just as important as the other.  And so it goes- day by day, magic is created. You practice becoming the person you want to be, asking yourself questions about your tenacity and will, and then doing the thing. Taking the action. Showing up for yourself, becoming the strongest version of yourself possible. Feeling the exhilaration of the work and preparation being molded into the fiber of your being, and stepping into life fully, living with awe, awareness and respect for the life we are in. Living the Aloha spirit, essentially! This is my WHY!

Ironman 70.3 PA- 2025

 Ironman 70.3 PA

Ironman 70.3 PA Happy Valley PA (2025) (FIRST RACE IN new age group as a 50 year old!)

I am so excited for this race report. This race was really special in so many ways. Some initial info: the last 1/2Ironman distance race I did was in 2022. Previously I did one a year, but then I took a break for a few years (plus covid), and lately I have just had other priority races that I preferred to sign up for. A ½ Ironman is really a big commitment and the ones that are most convenient geographically to get to happened to be in the calendar time of kids graduating, kids in their sports seasons/ tournament time, etc. I signed up for this one for a few reasons:  namely it was held almost exactly 75 days before Ryan’s Aunt’s 75^th birthday and she lives near Penn State, where the race would be- so it would be a perfect time to go up there and celebrate her (plus Ryan comes from a PSU family, so I figured it would be looked favorably upon!!!!!) AND…….. I am turning 50 this year and I wanted to do a solid 70.3 distance as a “big thing” for myself😊 (among others!)

I knew my race goal was to FINISH. I am no longer interested in being full throttle all eyes on the prize training- I train really hard and focused, and I care a lot, but I also have a realization (thank God by age 50 I have gotten here) that I can only do what I can do. I want to challenge myself and put it all out there knowing that I gave it everything and see where the cards fall.  And at the same time, honor my limits especially with my hip/back – I know I cannot cross a certain line of  speed without an exponential risk of injury, so my speed will now always be limited. I have learned that is okay and I would rather participate at a level that maybe once would have been disappointing to me, rather than push myself too much and risk the ability to be out there.

I began training over the winter- Jan/Feb timeframe- and things were going really well. Until I got sick. Then I was on my way back (hopefully) and sprained my ankle quite bad. So, this was a huge concern.  I didn’t even know if I’d be able to do the race. Once I got to the point that I could, I realized that I was going to use this as an OPPORTUNITY- to do every single thing I could to train what I could until I could run again.  I cycled, swam, strength, rehabbed, I was possibly even MORE committed. I really got back into long hours on the bike, which was really a blessing in disguise. I’ve not been nearly as committed to biking the past 5 years, so it was really a nice different direction to go with my training.

I trained hard, committed to the plan I made for myself.  I made a promise to follow my plan as I would expect someone that I coach; meaning- life happens, so maybe a workout blows up, and you do what you can and adjust if things need to be. I trained with high expectations of myself to prepare fully and execute the training.

RACE WEEK: I was ridiculously terrified and obsessed with the weather report. Any thought that I could do this race, that I was prepared went out the window. I do NOT like one single bit to ride my bike in rain.  I do not like it and I do not do it. I also find it dangerous. PARTICULARLY if you are climbing mountains in PA and DESCENDING. So, I was nonstop thinking about what was going to happen with the weather. Not only because I don’t think it is fun to bike in rain, but because of the danger.  I simply don’t like to take that risk. I cannot describe the mental discussions constantly taking place in my brain about what this meant. I didn’t trust that I would or could do a race in the pouring and it was saying thunderstorms also, and… nope.

The day before the race the weather shifted and it looked like maybe we wouldn’t even have any more rain for the race! I was overjoyed. And now, so hopeful. Of course, it was supposed to still be cloudy, low percent chance rain, so not my favorite conditions of sun, but now things were possible.  I was back on.

RACE START: I possibly should have looked up logistics a little better about how far of a drive it was to PSU from Ryan’s aunts house and then to lake because what ended up happening was that I woke up at 2:40AM to get to PSU by 4 to board a bus to get to the lake for the start. (start and finish of this race were not in same location). I knew it was going to be a long day, but then again honestly, if I had stayed at a hotel- I still would have been up at 4- so it would have only been another 1:20 of sleep, so it still doesn’t seem worth it to me to get a hotel. Anyway. Boarded bus, got to lake. IT WAS A MUDPIT.

We were not allowed to have shoes clipped into pedals, for T1, which I usually do, and I knew transition was going to be a mess because you would step on the ground and it was like “mud quick sand” your feet went down INTO the earth (mud). It was disgusting. So, pre-race I adjusted to this and tried to get a plan.  PLUS,  well, it was raining. And COLDER than I thought.  I had brought some simple cloth/dollar store/throw away gloves that I thought I’d wear for a bit. These ended up saving me so much, thank goodness I did that. I wore them the entire bike ride. (more on that later).

SWIM: We went off in a rolling start 3 people each 5 seconds.  I don’t prefer that start- I like to start in age groups, but I will admit- it worked really well. It seemed like people were really strung out on this one loop course. It was clockwise- I lined up on the inside because my preferred side to breathe is right plus it was shortest tangent, and worked awesome. It was a race where I never had any weird feelings or worries or breathing issues. I started honestly pretty easy and calm and really just kept that mentality going. I was so thankful during the swim for that.  Since it was raining and there was no sun, it was also nice to never have the sun in our eyes blinding our sighting of buoys. The course was well marked, kayaks were helpful in keeping the lines of the buoys. It may have literally been my favorite swim I ever did. I don’t think it was fast (I’ll be honest I haven’t even looked at my data yet- that is how much I really just prefer right now to go by FEEL- how did this FEEL- not the pace- but I felt STRONG and SOLID and that is honestly all I need). I actually enjoyed the swim, even though it was raining.  (Also, I should mention… it was wetsuit legal! So, this helped me to have some nice floating assistance!)

Transition- went through the mud pit, mounted and was off. It wasn’t fast, but no one was and I was being calm and just doing my own thing.

BIKE: There was like a 1 mile out and back where I think they were just trying to get the total distance up to 56 miles for the bike, but I took it as a kind of extended transition where I got settled, was pulling my gloves on while I was biking so there was some messing around with that, I had a banana that I basically shoved down the front of my tri suit that I ate for the first 20 miles of the bike (proving apparently that I have zero cares about what my race photos end up looking like, because in the run portion later, I also had food/fuel shoved in the front of my race suit)! The first hour was really nice and flat. We began what I would soon learn was a tour of so many farms and a huge highlight was all of the Amish family and children on the course cheering for us! They were having so much fun and this was IN THE RAIN- around 8am-9am in the rain- blankets of cute amish kids sitting cheering for us.  Young kids all the way through teenagers all over the course. The parents sitting in groups on porches cheering, with cowbells. They were the best spectators! I waved back to the groups cheering us on, it was so helpful.  I also know that is a mental tool to really engage as long as you can, keep the happy feelings flowing, knowing there will be a time that I do not feel like smiling at people!

It was raining and windy and 20-40 miles were full of hills and climbs. One significant climb in here, but I handled it well and kept my fueling consistent.  One reason I was being even more cautious on the fueling was….. I had packed my Heed electrolyte drink mix in a ziplock in my bags for the weekend and could not FIND IT race morning so I was only carrying water. I was nervous about that, so just tried to make sure I got all the calories in that I needed for the distance. At 25 miles I started taking a fig newton every 3-5 miles to keep blood sugar steady.  I was trying to make sure anytime there wasn’t wind gusts to grab the food then, either banana out of my suit, or fig newton in my bento box, so that I could get my hands back on bike because it was slippery. My body looked like a bad windshield already, I was caked with mud everywhere. But I was having fun with the course and the fun spectators, cows on the side, beautiful farms we drove by.

Well I at least need to tell about the Center Hall Mountain climb. This is a 4 mile climb starting at mile 40 that leads to “Mount Nittany.” It was lined at the bottom with spectators with bells so I figured this was the start to the notorious climb and was just open to whatever was to come. It was raining, and again I am so thankful that I had those gloves because they helped me to grip. As we were just grinding in our smallest chainrings up this climb, there was a beautiful stream on the side of the road which from the huge amount of rain over the weekend and days leading up to the race was now just GUSHING with water.  It reminded me of the smoky mountains, it was really beautiful and I was thankful to glance over and see the creek, hear the sounds. There were switchbacks up this mountain and every time we would turn I’d look up and be like you are JOKING ME because I thought, ohhh maybe this is the top soon????  Well, it got whiter and whiter as we went further into a cloud. When we got to what was “Mt Nittany overlook” we had zero view. I could not see the cyclist in front of me and now we had to go DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. I was literally terrified thinking, what do I do?  But… I wasn’t about to get off…. (I mean what would I do up there except freeze) so here I go, down the white mountain, trying to not brake too hard, but also brake as much as I could, meanwhile, my body is just locked in still, trying to keep myself from sliding and upright and core engaged, shoulders down, the wind got so cold, my arm skin was freezing, shoulders and forearms so cold.  I made it to the bottom without crashing which was my prayer.  Once I started pedaling again I realized my toes and feet were blocks.  They had zero feeling, completely numb, as were my fingers. I worried because sometimes this can be the end of it for me.  So I tried to do little movements of my toes inside my shoes. Tried to do little finger moves before my fingers went to the full pain of Raynauds. At this point, we have 10-15 miles left of the bike, so I am realizing, OK: I think I’m going to make it and energy is still okay, so keep fueling and keep within yourself.  Keep steady, keep your hands from dying, stay mentally engaged and get there patiently.

The final 5 miles were some more ridiculous hills that I was like I cannot believe we are STILL CLIMBING. What goes up, does NOT COME DOWN in a point to point race with elevation gain of 3462 feet! I was honestly so proud of myself that I made it through the end- not just a hard bike course, but in the rain, keeping myself fueled, positive, and steady and patient throughout.  I definitely played it a little conservative knowing that I had a half marathon still, and was really proud of my effort and plan so far!

T2: Well, I got to T2 and was NOW worried my day was over.  I could not get my helmet off because I couldn’t feel my fingers and could not work the clasp without any feeling in my fingers.  After 60-90 seonds of trying, I was about to ask a volunteer if they could help me, but I got it.  Then I couldn’t get my shoes on with my fingers not working, or pick up my race belt and get the stuff into the pockets (our transitions weren’t lined out as a normal tri- we had to have all of our T2 stuff in a bag the day before, so essentially had to dump it out figure it out during transition).  I ran into the bathroom to pee before heading out and realized I hadn’t brought my water flask. Oh my gosh. 2^nd hydration mistake of the day.  But.. I wasn’t going back. At least I had brought my gel and blocks for calories.

 

RUN: So, I exited transition and was so happy to see Phoebe, Ryan, and Aunt Claudia cheering for me! I was finally on my own two feet- no risk of crashes or flats anymore and it was all up to me now. I wasn’t sure how this course was going to go, I hadn’t been able to run any of it, and so I was just open to following the route and seeing what I saw.  It was 2 loops, and my thought was, ok, go out and “be curious” on the first loop- see how you feel, and see what you see, have no pace expectations, and when things get really tough, “go sightseeing” as if I was touring the college.

Well, first things first though.  Within the first ¼ mile I thought OMG I’m going to possibly have to go to the hospital.  My fingers were so numb, which is normal for my cold hands with Raynaud’s, BUT: I felt like they were blocks that were going in the wrong direction, like my fingers were going backwards.  They were so numb, but just also a different sensation than what I have previously had. I knew they had hurt and were so cold on the bike and I had worried that it was going to be a problem. The bike gloves that I wore were soaked from the rain at the end of the bike.  I normally don’t wear socks with my run shoes, but I had put a pair of socks in my transition bag for run in case my feet were super muddy or I felt like I might need them because of the pouring rain. I realized that what I could do is try to use my socks as “mittens”! HA!  So…. I did that and honestly. It SAVED my race possibly. I had grabbed those socks during transition, stuffed them into the shoulder of my tri suit and brought them with me. I balled my hands up inside my socks and tried to fist them up and do some hand movement to warm them.  After 4 miles, I realized my hands were going to be ok! I am still honestly really thankful. Yes, I did feel like a fruitcake running with socks on my hands, but it was for me the perfect “survival strategy”!

During these first 4 miles of the run, I felt solid and steady (mostly focusing on hands and the course, trying to remain calm and have no expectations. I started taking my UCAN gel at mile 1. Every mile I’d have a few sips. Through mile 4/5, I started to feel myself get a little fatigued, and I had a little worry/awareness to make sure I had a plan to manage my energy. I was mentally trying to break the race into sets of 4 miles. 3x 4 miles which would then get me to just the final mile.  However, since it was two loops, that didn’t match up, but I figured that the halfway point would give me another “boost.”  At mile 5, we were weaving in and out of pathways on campus and it was windy and technical with sharp turns which kind of were hard and causing extra work, but I kept thinking- ok, finish this loop to just see what the loop is and then you will be on the final loop! The final mile of the first loop was really hard all uphill.  I was definitely feeling the struggle. I slowed down. (also I had to stop to use a port o pot at I think mile 5 but it was super quick and not a troubling situation, such as I’ve had in past run races, so very grateful).

I kept myself focused on getting to the halfway point and getting through the stadium again because that was so cool!  GUYS: LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT RUNNING THROUGH THE PSU football stadium. THIS WAS FREAKING COOL.  I’m not even a football fan. And it was RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME. So cool. It was amazing.  The entire race was worth it right there.  To imagine what that would be like to be one of those players in this stadium was just amazing.  I was looking around as we did a lap on the perimeter of the turf.  I feel so lucky to have had this experience. I am so surprised by how cool this felt like to me!  I’m not joking that it was like 9.8/10 cool! So, that renewed me.

2^nd loop: Yes, I was worried, 6.5 more miles is still a long way.

I realized I was getting tired energetically, along with leg fatigue, and so I realized I possibly needed some caffeine.  The aid stations were AWESOME and every mile. I thought: next aid station, I’m going to get coke. I am not used to drinking coke (at all, but def not in the middle of a workout).  And I realize this is against the rule of not doing something new in races, but I also knew I needed it.  (and I’ve done it before- ironman races). So, mile 7, I again went to the port o pot, but then told myself to walk through the aid station while sipping the coke (thinking that may be easier to let it go in without bothering my stomach).  I did that.  I also got a piece of a maurten bar they were handing out (which again- I have not ever tried- major rule break here because don’t try new things, but I kinda felt like I Needed a solid/ not a gel).  I didn’t have it at the same time as the coke, but thought I’ll save it in case I need it. 

NEXT Goal: get to mile 8 because then I would mentally be on my last “set” of 4 miles. There were  rolling hills through the campus and I def could feel it and just thought keep going. Whereas on the bike, I was passing basically everyone, I did get passed on the run. There were some people just FAST. I thought, Sharon do not focus on THAT. There are just as many people that are walking, or struggling that you are passing, so everyone is in their own lane.  It reminded me to stay within myself. This helped. Mile 8, another walk through aid station and more coke.  I felt these coke/caffeine/sugar surges, THANK GOODNESS!!!!! So thankful!  Mile 9: I took a bite of that bar. Oh it was so good to chew something honestly. Like food-ish. It was heaven. Another boost! I kept plugging. I wasn’t fast, but I was smooth and feeling efficient and solid. I kept saying to myself, keep pressing, keep pushing.  I wanted to press forward, only think positive. I knew that if I just kept little bit by little bit not negotiating with the pain, I could continue. Mile 10: I was feeling really huge in my stomach bloated from the coke bubbles, the jostling/ sugar/ food intake and was worried as I was starting to feel uncomfortable in my stomach so I skipped this aid station. I literally was just “expanding” and my stomach was bloating,getting big and uncomfortable with the jostling and I didn’t want to run into a problem.  

Mile 11: This aid station was actually a little bit after 11 and I thought ok!!!!!! THIS IS IT! Take something to get you to mile 12! AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE 1 mile left and you CAN MAKE IT!!!!! This was my last walk through (probably 5-10 sec of walking) and each time I definitely did get that boost from the caffeine/sugar combination in the soda (also def was feeling the bloating from the bubbles so that wasn’t good- that wouldn’t have been sustainable for long because it was definitely getting uncomfortable).

I tried to stay steady through this mile, mentally patient and plugging along, pushing and pressing forward, when I Hit the 1 mile left mark, I did have enough to start to push myself, even if it was really an uphill final mile that was difficult, I put all the effort into it that I could!

I was so happy to turn the corner for the last maybe .1 that was flat along the finish chute with the spectators. I was so proud of myself, and it felt honestly awesome to say that to myself, about myself.  I did it. It’s what I do, and I still have the fire to do hard and uncomfortable things. I’m never sure of the result, but I’m still willing to put myself into that vulnerable spot of stepping into the arena. I love the practice of fighting self doubt, to practice empowering myself by training my body and mind together- one just as important as the other.  Day by day, it all matters. And so it goes- day by day, magic is created. You practice becoming the person you want to be, asking yourself questions about your tenacity and will, and then doing the thing. Taking the action. Showing up for yourself, becoming the strongest version of yourself possible. This is why I’m proud. I couldn’t tell you my numbers, splits, paces, times (although I will look them up and post at the end for future reference), but I can tell you the FEELING. What it feels like to have prepared, worked, and stepped off the sidelines and INTO life fully, with no guarantees.

I do love races so much. This one will always be really special.  What a really fun day of all the things, all the emotions, all the feelings. As is life.

Taking a week light to recover and rest, then back into it for Kauai Marathon training!

STATS:

(from my gps):

Swim 41:01, 2331 yds

T14:48

Bike 3:02 (15:25/13:47/14:49/15:30/15:28/16:45/14:12/20:30/19:50/14:26/16:43/4:38)

T2 4:33

Run2:01:02

(9:15/8:42/7:59/9:308:18/8:53/9:45/10:52/10:06/9:16/9:27/9:02/9:30/ 0:23?)

 

 

 

What are you TRYING to do these days?

 

TRYING.

As part of my job, I am in a position to often see how people show up, how they bring themselves to a workout, through a workout or challenge or race in ways both physical and mental.

One of my favorite quotes (from my favorite movie, Serendipity) is, “The Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they had one sentence, “Did they live with passion?”  I was reminded this week, in a similarly succinct question, that succeeding often means- “Did you try?”

**Funny note - immediately after I heard this reminder about success being a result of trying and effort, I was running sprints, saw someone I knew who said, “are you sprinting?!” and I yelled out, “I’m TRYING!” HA!  It hit me right away- that I know who I am- I am always in the effort, always trying.  I’m a person, if I decide something is worthwhile, I give it my all, I try fully.

Now, on the flip side, the word “try” is also a trigger for me!  BECAUSE- there is nothing that drives me crazier than hearing someone approaching a task or something and they say, “I’ll try.” AND YOU KNOW RIGHT AWAY, that is their escape.  They have already not done the thing. They won’t finish/complete/whatever the task is because they already gave themselves the “out”- that instead of saying, “I will” they say, “I’ll try.”  Ohhhh trigger to my heart! So, I think it is rather interesting that I also feel like the action of trying can very well be a marker of success.

It all depends, right?  It depends on what the TRYING looks like, and what the heart behind the words “I’ll try” means. I believe it is a good thing to ask ourselves the question, “What are the things I’m trying to do in my life right now.” What direction are we intending to be headed? We are always either moving towards our destiny or away from it.  Make no mistake, if we are stagnant, choosing inaction, that isn’t actually still.  That is AWAY from our intended destination.  Each moment, each day of not taking action moves us further away by the simple choice of inaction.

Which is fine- if you don’t truly have it in your heart to reach a destination. When it comes to health, it boggles my mind, honestly, that more people don’t “try.” People say all the time they want to be more fit. But the choice often made is not action.  No one is so busy that they cannot find 10-15 minutes a day of CONSISTENT exercise.  DAILY. And yes, I realize I take it personally because it is my purpose and my passion, but also because I SEE the outcome. I see the decline. Our bodies depend on us for care. Our bodies are not meant to be taken for granted.

Our “trying” may take the form of simply showing up. Showing up, sometimes even with a bum attitude! Guess what- the power of showing up even when you do not WANT TO is the ESSENCE!  When you’d rather lay on a couch and scroll for 15 minutes, but instead, you turn on the yoga recording, you get out for a walk, you circle arms/exhale and twist and feed your body with movement. You take the action, do the thing, and TRY YOUR BEST for that day.

Our time within a day is limited, understandably. As it should be.  If time weren’t limited, it wouldn’t have value. So, what has value to you?

And it doesn’t need to be exercise. Are you trying to check in with friends?  Are you trying to do the little things that are the essence of you, whatever that may be. Are you TRYING to take care of your mental health?  I know I am!  So, as much as I am advocating for showing up for fitness, I am as much a proponent of the tools that you need to address to prioritize, taking an intentional 1 full minute of deep breathing to settle your system daily. Are you trying to learn a language, write a book, learn a skill.  All of these things require the consistent, sometimes humbling, action of trying.

Are you aware of the direction you are trying to go in, the actions you daily need to take to get there, and your plan?

You know what?  TRYING FEELS GOOD! The PROCESS of trying is motivating! When I was “trying” to sprint the other day when I exclaimed to someone that I was trying… made me realize how good it felt to be in a place of learning, growing, seeing what was possible. It required me to risk something, to risk being unable to go as fast as I wanted, to risk facing obstacles, to need to step into a place in my heart where I wanted something and was following the call. It felt like LIFE, FULLY.

On the flip side, be careful about using the word “trying” without fully trying.  If you say that you are trying to lose weight, without really intentionally and fully trying…. That of course won’t lead to results and it will lead to an internal narrative that you tell yourself that you can’t, or that it is something that isn’t achievable for you. That isn’t true. The fact is that you weren’t really trying.

Trying can be hard. Trying can be disappointing, if you have your heart in it.  Trying can also be exhilarating, fulfilling, and the cool thing- it doesn’t need to be overwhelming. The big gains and changes and successes in life happen after showing up consistently, day by day. Even if for 10-15 minutes. You won’t reach your goals by a 1 day effort, or once weekly effort. It’s worth thinking about “trying” and the quality of your trying. The one guarantee we do have: no thing will happen, success doesn’t just arrive, you have to show up and make the decision and take the action to try your best.