Ironman 70.3 PA- 2025

 Ironman 70.3 PA

Ironman 70.3 PA Happy Valley PA (2025) (FIRST RACE IN new age group as a 50 year old!)

I am so excited for this race report. This race was really special in so many ways. Some initial info: the last 1/2Ironman distance race I did was in 2022. Previously I did one a year, but then I took a break for a few years (plus covid), and lately I have just had other priority races that I preferred to sign up for. A ½ Ironman is really a big commitment and the ones that are most convenient geographically to get to happened to be in the calendar time of kids graduating, kids in their sports seasons/ tournament time, etc. I signed up for this one for a few reasons:  namely it was held almost exactly 75 days before Ryan’s Aunt’s 75^th birthday and she lives near Penn State, where the race would be- so it would be a perfect time to go up there and celebrate her (plus Ryan comes from a PSU family, so I figured it would be looked favorably upon!!!!!) AND…….. I am turning 50 this year and I wanted to do a solid 70.3 distance as a “big thing” for myself😊 (among others!)

I knew my race goal was to FINISH. I am no longer interested in being full throttle all eyes on the prize training- I train really hard and focused, and I care a lot, but I also have a realization (thank God by age 50 I have gotten here) that I can only do what I can do. I want to challenge myself and put it all out there knowing that I gave it everything and see where the cards fall.  And at the same time, honor my limits especially with my hip/back – I know I cannot cross a certain line of  speed without an exponential risk of injury, so my speed will now always be limited. I have learned that is okay and I would rather participate at a level that maybe once would have been disappointing to me, rather than push myself too much and risk the ability to be out there.

I began training over the winter- Jan/Feb timeframe- and things were going really well. Until I got sick. Then I was on my way back (hopefully) and sprained my ankle quite bad. So, this was a huge concern.  I didn’t even know if I’d be able to do the race. Once I got to the point that I could, I realized that I was going to use this as an OPPORTUNITY- to do every single thing I could to train what I could until I could run again.  I cycled, swam, strength, rehabbed, I was possibly even MORE committed. I really got back into long hours on the bike, which was really a blessing in disguise. I’ve not been nearly as committed to biking the past 5 years, so it was really a nice different direction to go with my training.

I trained hard, committed to the plan I made for myself.  I made a promise to follow my plan as I would expect someone that I coach; meaning- life happens, so maybe a workout blows up, and you do what you can and adjust if things need to be. I trained with high expectations of myself to prepare fully and execute the training.

RACE WEEK: I was ridiculously terrified and obsessed with the weather report. Any thought that I could do this race, that I was prepared went out the window. I do NOT like one single bit to ride my bike in rain.  I do not like it and I do not do it. I also find it dangerous. PARTICULARLY if you are climbing mountains in PA and DESCENDING. So, I was nonstop thinking about what was going to happen with the weather. Not only because I don’t think it is fun to bike in rain, but because of the danger.  I simply don’t like to take that risk. I cannot describe the mental discussions constantly taking place in my brain about what this meant. I didn’t trust that I would or could do a race in the pouring and it was saying thunderstorms also, and… nope.

The day before the race the weather shifted and it looked like maybe we wouldn’t even have any more rain for the race! I was overjoyed. And now, so hopeful. Of course, it was supposed to still be cloudy, low percent chance rain, so not my favorite conditions of sun, but now things were possible.  I was back on.

RACE START: I possibly should have looked up logistics a little better about how far of a drive it was to PSU from Ryan’s aunts house and then to lake because what ended up happening was that I woke up at 2:40AM to get to PSU by 4 to board a bus to get to the lake for the start. (start and finish of this race were not in same location). I knew it was going to be a long day, but then again honestly, if I had stayed at a hotel- I still would have been up at 4- so it would have only been another 1:20 of sleep, so it still doesn’t seem worth it to me to get a hotel. Anyway. Boarded bus, got to lake. IT WAS A MUDPIT.

We were not allowed to have shoes clipped into pedals, for T1, which I usually do, and I knew transition was going to be a mess because you would step on the ground and it was like “mud quick sand” your feet went down INTO the earth (mud). It was disgusting. So, pre-race I adjusted to this and tried to get a plan.  PLUS,  well, it was raining. And COLDER than I thought.  I had brought some simple cloth/dollar store/throw away gloves that I thought I’d wear for a bit. These ended up saving me so much, thank goodness I did that. I wore them the entire bike ride. (more on that later).

SWIM: We went off in a rolling start 3 people each 5 seconds.  I don’t prefer that start- I like to start in age groups, but I will admit- it worked really well. It seemed like people were really strung out on this one loop course. It was clockwise- I lined up on the inside because my preferred side to breathe is right plus it was shortest tangent, and worked awesome. It was a race where I never had any weird feelings or worries or breathing issues. I started honestly pretty easy and calm and really just kept that mentality going. I was so thankful during the swim for that.  Since it was raining and there was no sun, it was also nice to never have the sun in our eyes blinding our sighting of buoys. The course was well marked, kayaks were helpful in keeping the lines of the buoys. It may have literally been my favorite swim I ever did. I don’t think it was fast (I’ll be honest I haven’t even looked at my data yet- that is how much I really just prefer right now to go by FEEL- how did this FEEL- not the pace- but I felt STRONG and SOLID and that is honestly all I need). I actually enjoyed the swim, even though it was raining.  (Also, I should mention… it was wetsuit legal! So, this helped me to have some nice floating assistance!)

Transition- went through the mud pit, mounted and was off. It wasn’t fast, but no one was and I was being calm and just doing my own thing.

BIKE: There was like a 1 mile out and back where I think they were just trying to get the total distance up to 56 miles for the bike, but I took it as a kind of extended transition where I got settled, was pulling my gloves on while I was biking so there was some messing around with that, I had a banana that I basically shoved down the front of my tri suit that I ate for the first 20 miles of the bike (proving apparently that I have zero cares about what my race photos end up looking like, because in the run portion later, I also had food/fuel shoved in the front of my race suit)! The first hour was really nice and flat. We began what I would soon learn was a tour of so many farms and a huge highlight was all of the Amish family and children on the course cheering for us! They were having so much fun and this was IN THE RAIN- around 8am-9am in the rain- blankets of cute amish kids sitting cheering for us.  Young kids all the way through teenagers all over the course. The parents sitting in groups on porches cheering, with cowbells. They were the best spectators! I waved back to the groups cheering us on, it was so helpful.  I also know that is a mental tool to really engage as long as you can, keep the happy feelings flowing, knowing there will be a time that I do not feel like smiling at people!

It was raining and windy and 20-40 miles were full of hills and climbs. One significant climb in here, but I handled it well and kept my fueling consistent.  One reason I was being even more cautious on the fueling was….. I had packed my Heed electrolyte drink mix in a ziplock in my bags for the weekend and could not FIND IT race morning so I was only carrying water. I was nervous about that, so just tried to make sure I got all the calories in that I needed for the distance. At 25 miles I started taking a fig newton every 3-5 miles to keep blood sugar steady.  I was trying to make sure anytime there wasn’t wind gusts to grab the food then, either banana out of my suit, or fig newton in my bento box, so that I could get my hands back on bike because it was slippery. My body looked like a bad windshield already, I was caked with mud everywhere. But I was having fun with the course and the fun spectators, cows on the side, beautiful farms we drove by.

Well I at least need to tell about the Center Hall Mountain climb. This is a 4 mile climb starting at mile 40 that leads to “Mount Nittany.” It was lined at the bottom with spectators with bells so I figured this was the start to the notorious climb and was just open to whatever was to come. It was raining, and again I am so thankful that I had those gloves because they helped me to grip. As we were just grinding in our smallest chainrings up this climb, there was a beautiful stream on the side of the road which from the huge amount of rain over the weekend and days leading up to the race was now just GUSHING with water.  It reminded me of the smoky mountains, it was really beautiful and I was thankful to glance over and see the creek, hear the sounds. There were switchbacks up this mountain and every time we would turn I’d look up and be like you are JOKING ME because I thought, ohhh maybe this is the top soon????  Well, it got whiter and whiter as we went further into a cloud. When we got to what was “Mt Nittany overlook” we had zero view. I could not see the cyclist in front of me and now we had to go DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. I was literally terrified thinking, what do I do?  But… I wasn’t about to get off…. (I mean what would I do up there except freeze) so here I go, down the white mountain, trying to not brake too hard, but also brake as much as I could, meanwhile, my body is just locked in still, trying to keep myself from sliding and upright and core engaged, shoulders down, the wind got so cold, my arm skin was freezing, shoulders and forearms so cold.  I made it to the bottom without crashing which was my prayer.  Once I started pedaling again I realized my toes and feet were blocks.  They had zero feeling, completely numb, as were my fingers. I worried because sometimes this can be the end of it for me.  So I tried to do little movements of my toes inside my shoes. Tried to do little finger moves before my fingers went to the full pain of Raynauds. At this point, we have 10-15 miles left of the bike, so I am realizing, OK: I think I’m going to make it and energy is still okay, so keep fueling and keep within yourself.  Keep steady, keep your hands from dying, stay mentally engaged and get there patiently.

The final 5 miles were some more ridiculous hills that I was like I cannot believe we are STILL CLIMBING. What goes up, does NOT COME DOWN in a point to point race with elevation gain of 3462 feet! I was honestly so proud of myself that I made it through the end- not just a hard bike course, but in the rain, keeping myself fueled, positive, and steady and patient throughout.  I definitely played it a little conservative knowing that I had a half marathon still, and was really proud of my effort and plan so far!

T2: Well, I got to T2 and was NOW worried my day was over.  I could not get my helmet off because I couldn’t feel my fingers and could not work the clasp without any feeling in my fingers.  After 60-90 seonds of trying, I was about to ask a volunteer if they could help me, but I got it.  Then I couldn’t get my shoes on with my fingers not working, or pick up my race belt and get the stuff into the pockets (our transitions weren’t lined out as a normal tri- we had to have all of our T2 stuff in a bag the day before, so essentially had to dump it out figure it out during transition).  I ran into the bathroom to pee before heading out and realized I hadn’t brought my water flask. Oh my gosh. 2^nd hydration mistake of the day.  But.. I wasn’t going back. At least I had brought my gel and blocks for calories.

 

RUN: So, I exited transition and was so happy to see Phoebe, Ryan, and Aunt Claudia cheering for me! I was finally on my own two feet- no risk of crashes or flats anymore and it was all up to me now. I wasn’t sure how this course was going to go, I hadn’t been able to run any of it, and so I was just open to following the route and seeing what I saw.  It was 2 loops, and my thought was, ok, go out and “be curious” on the first loop- see how you feel, and see what you see, have no pace expectations, and when things get really tough, “go sightseeing” as if I was touring the college.

Well, first things first though.  Within the first ¼ mile I thought OMG I’m going to possibly have to go to the hospital.  My fingers were so numb, which is normal for my cold hands with Raynaud’s, BUT: I felt like they were blocks that were going in the wrong direction, like my fingers were going backwards.  They were so numb, but just also a different sensation than what I have previously had. I knew they had hurt and were so cold on the bike and I had worried that it was going to be a problem. The bike gloves that I wore were soaked from the rain at the end of the bike.  I normally don’t wear socks with my run shoes, but I had put a pair of socks in my transition bag for run in case my feet were super muddy or I felt like I might need them because of the pouring rain. I realized that what I could do is try to use my socks as “mittens”! HA!  So…. I did that and honestly. It SAVED my race possibly. I had grabbed those socks during transition, stuffed them into the shoulder of my tri suit and brought them with me. I balled my hands up inside my socks and tried to fist them up and do some hand movement to warm them.  After 4 miles, I realized my hands were going to be ok! I am still honestly really thankful. Yes, I did feel like a fruitcake running with socks on my hands, but it was for me the perfect “survival strategy”!

During these first 4 miles of the run, I felt solid and steady (mostly focusing on hands and the course, trying to remain calm and have no expectations. I started taking my UCAN gel at mile 1. Every mile I’d have a few sips. Through mile 4/5, I started to feel myself get a little fatigued, and I had a little worry/awareness to make sure I had a plan to manage my energy. I was mentally trying to break the race into sets of 4 miles. 3x 4 miles which would then get me to just the final mile.  However, since it was two loops, that didn’t match up, but I figured that the halfway point would give me another “boost.”  At mile 5, we were weaving in and out of pathways on campus and it was windy and technical with sharp turns which kind of were hard and causing extra work, but I kept thinking- ok, finish this loop to just see what the loop is and then you will be on the final loop! The final mile of the first loop was really hard all uphill.  I was definitely feeling the struggle. I slowed down. (also I had to stop to use a port o pot at I think mile 5 but it was super quick and not a troubling situation, such as I’ve had in past run races, so very grateful).

I kept myself focused on getting to the halfway point and getting through the stadium again because that was so cool!  GUYS: LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT RUNNING THROUGH THE PSU football stadium. THIS WAS FREAKING COOL.  I’m not even a football fan. And it was RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME. So cool. It was amazing.  The entire race was worth it right there.  To imagine what that would be like to be one of those players in this stadium was just amazing.  I was looking around as we did a lap on the perimeter of the turf.  I feel so lucky to have had this experience. I am so surprised by how cool this felt like to me!  I’m not joking that it was like 9.8/10 cool! So, that renewed me.

2^nd loop: Yes, I was worried, 6.5 more miles is still a long way.

I realized I was getting tired energetically, along with leg fatigue, and so I realized I possibly needed some caffeine.  The aid stations were AWESOME and every mile. I thought: next aid station, I’m going to get coke. I am not used to drinking coke (at all, but def not in the middle of a workout).  And I realize this is against the rule of not doing something new in races, but I also knew I needed it.  (and I’ve done it before- ironman races). So, mile 7, I again went to the port o pot, but then told myself to walk through the aid station while sipping the coke (thinking that may be easier to let it go in without bothering my stomach).  I did that.  I also got a piece of a maurten bar they were handing out (which again- I have not ever tried- major rule break here because don’t try new things, but I kinda felt like I Needed a solid/ not a gel).  I didn’t have it at the same time as the coke, but thought I’ll save it in case I need it. 

NEXT Goal: get to mile 8 because then I would mentally be on my last “set” of 4 miles. There were  rolling hills through the campus and I def could feel it and just thought keep going. Whereas on the bike, I was passing basically everyone, I did get passed on the run. There were some people just FAST. I thought, Sharon do not focus on THAT. There are just as many people that are walking, or struggling that you are passing, so everyone is in their own lane.  It reminded me to stay within myself. This helped. Mile 8, another walk through aid station and more coke.  I felt these coke/caffeine/sugar surges, THANK GOODNESS!!!!! So thankful!  Mile 9: I took a bite of that bar. Oh it was so good to chew something honestly. Like food-ish. It was heaven. Another boost! I kept plugging. I wasn’t fast, but I was smooth and feeling efficient and solid. I kept saying to myself, keep pressing, keep pushing.  I wanted to press forward, only think positive. I knew that if I just kept little bit by little bit not negotiating with the pain, I could continue. Mile 10: I was feeling really huge in my stomach bloated from the coke bubbles, the jostling/ sugar/ food intake and was worried as I was starting to feel uncomfortable in my stomach so I skipped this aid station. I literally was just “expanding” and my stomach was bloating,getting big and uncomfortable with the jostling and I didn’t want to run into a problem.  

Mile 11: This aid station was actually a little bit after 11 and I thought ok!!!!!! THIS IS IT! Take something to get you to mile 12! AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE 1 mile left and you CAN MAKE IT!!!!! This was my last walk through (probably 5-10 sec of walking) and each time I definitely did get that boost from the caffeine/sugar combination in the soda (also def was feeling the bloating from the bubbles so that wasn’t good- that wouldn’t have been sustainable for long because it was definitely getting uncomfortable).

I tried to stay steady through this mile, mentally patient and plugging along, pushing and pressing forward, when I Hit the 1 mile left mark, I did have enough to start to push myself, even if it was really an uphill final mile that was difficult, I put all the effort into it that I could!

I was so happy to turn the corner for the last maybe .1 that was flat along the finish chute with the spectators. I was so proud of myself, and it felt honestly awesome to say that to myself, about myself.  I did it. It’s what I do, and I still have the fire to do hard and uncomfortable things. I’m never sure of the result, but I’m still willing to put myself into that vulnerable spot of stepping into the arena. I love the practice of fighting self doubt, to practice empowering myself by training my body and mind together- one just as important as the other.  Day by day, it all matters. And so it goes- day by day, magic is created. You practice becoming the person you want to be, asking yourself questions about your tenacity and will, and then doing the thing. Taking the action. Showing up for yourself, becoming the strongest version of yourself possible. This is why I’m proud. I couldn’t tell you my numbers, splits, paces, times (although I will look them up and post at the end for future reference), but I can tell you the FEELING. What it feels like to have prepared, worked, and stepped off the sidelines and INTO life fully, with no guarantees.

I do love races so much. This one will always be really special.  What a really fun day of all the things, all the emotions, all the feelings. As is life.

Taking a week light to recover and rest, then back into it for Kauai Marathon training!

STATS:

(from my gps):

Swim 41:01, 2331 yds

T14:48

Bike 3:02 (15:25/13:47/14:49/15:30/15:28/16:45/14:12/20:30/19:50/14:26/16:43/4:38)

T2 4:33

Run2:01:02

(9:15/8:42/7:59/9:308:18/8:53/9:45/10:52/10:06/9:16/9:27/9:02/9:30/ 0:23?)

 

 

 

What are you TRYING to do these days?

 

TRYING.

As part of my job, I am in a position to often see how people show up, how they bring themselves to a workout, through a workout or challenge or race in ways both physical and mental.

One of my favorite quotes (from my favorite movie, Serendipity) is, “The Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they had one sentence, “Did they live with passion?”  I was reminded this week, in a similarly succinct question, that succeeding often means- “Did you try?”

**Funny note - immediately after I heard this reminder about success being a result of trying and effort, I was running sprints, saw someone I knew who said, “are you sprinting?!” and I yelled out, “I’m TRYING!” HA!  It hit me right away- that I know who I am- I am always in the effort, always trying.  I’m a person, if I decide something is worthwhile, I give it my all, I try fully.

Now, on the flip side, the word “try” is also a trigger for me!  BECAUSE- there is nothing that drives me crazier than hearing someone approaching a task or something and they say, “I’ll try.” AND YOU KNOW RIGHT AWAY, that is their escape.  They have already not done the thing. They won’t finish/complete/whatever the task is because they already gave themselves the “out”- that instead of saying, “I will” they say, “I’ll try.”  Ohhhh trigger to my heart! So, I think it is rather interesting that I also feel like the action of trying can very well be a marker of success.

It all depends, right?  It depends on what the TRYING looks like, and what the heart behind the words “I’ll try” means. I believe it is a good thing to ask ourselves the question, “What are the things I’m trying to do in my life right now.” What direction are we intending to be headed? We are always either moving towards our destiny or away from it.  Make no mistake, if we are stagnant, choosing inaction, that isn’t actually still.  That is AWAY from our intended destination.  Each moment, each day of not taking action moves us further away by the simple choice of inaction.

Which is fine- if you don’t truly have it in your heart to reach a destination. When it comes to health, it boggles my mind, honestly, that more people don’t “try.” People say all the time they want to be more fit. But the choice often made is not action.  No one is so busy that they cannot find 10-15 minutes a day of CONSISTENT exercise.  DAILY. And yes, I realize I take it personally because it is my purpose and my passion, but also because I SEE the outcome. I see the decline. Our bodies depend on us for care. Our bodies are not meant to be taken for granted.

Our “trying” may take the form of simply showing up. Showing up, sometimes even with a bum attitude! Guess what- the power of showing up even when you do not WANT TO is the ESSENCE!  When you’d rather lay on a couch and scroll for 15 minutes, but instead, you turn on the yoga recording, you get out for a walk, you circle arms/exhale and twist and feed your body with movement. You take the action, do the thing, and TRY YOUR BEST for that day.

Our time within a day is limited, understandably. As it should be.  If time weren’t limited, it wouldn’t have value. So, what has value to you?

And it doesn’t need to be exercise. Are you trying to check in with friends?  Are you trying to do the little things that are the essence of you, whatever that may be. Are you TRYING to take care of your mental health?  I know I am!  So, as much as I am advocating for showing up for fitness, I am as much a proponent of the tools that you need to address to prioritize, taking an intentional 1 full minute of deep breathing to settle your system daily. Are you trying to learn a language, write a book, learn a skill.  All of these things require the consistent, sometimes humbling, action of trying.

Are you aware of the direction you are trying to go in, the actions you daily need to take to get there, and your plan?

You know what?  TRYING FEELS GOOD! The PROCESS of trying is motivating! When I was “trying” to sprint the other day when I exclaimed to someone that I was trying… made me realize how good it felt to be in a place of learning, growing, seeing what was possible. It required me to risk something, to risk being unable to go as fast as I wanted, to risk facing obstacles, to need to step into a place in my heart where I wanted something and was following the call. It felt like LIFE, FULLY.

On the flip side, be careful about using the word “trying” without fully trying.  If you say that you are trying to lose weight, without really intentionally and fully trying…. That of course won’t lead to results and it will lead to an internal narrative that you tell yourself that you can’t, or that it is something that isn’t achievable for you. That isn’t true. The fact is that you weren’t really trying.

Trying can be hard. Trying can be disappointing, if you have your heart in it.  Trying can also be exhilarating, fulfilling, and the cool thing- it doesn’t need to be overwhelming. The big gains and changes and successes in life happen after showing up consistently, day by day. Even if for 10-15 minutes. You won’t reach your goals by a 1 day effort, or once weekly effort. It’s worth thinking about “trying” and the quality of your trying. The one guarantee we do have: no thing will happen, success doesn’t just arrive, you have to show up and make the decision and take the action to try your best. 

RACING into 2025..... again...

 

LOOKING FORWARD…. Again… to RACING IN 2025, part 2!

So, I had intended to possibly do a February race (somewhere warm) which didn’t happen.

So, I was excited and registered for a half marathon in Richmond in March… sprained ankle, didn’t happen.

So, here I try again. I AM WORKING BACK from this injury, rising up, and NEXT UP is Ironman 70.3 Pennsylvania in early June. 

This is a new to me race, and I Haven’t done a different 70.3 in quite a bit of time, so I’m looking forward to new sights, experiences and challenges. What got me signed up for this race is that it is near Ryan’s Aunt who is turning 75 this year and this race is right around 75 days before that, so it is fitting to go there and celebrate her birthday- we won’t be able to at the actual time of her birthday.  ALSO:  they are all Penn State fans and this race finishes in the PSU stadium (more on that later).

When I sprained my ankle, I was disappointed initially and really worried and crushed.  And then I pulled on my big girl pants and got FIRED THE HECK UP. I rode my bike on my trainer for hours, started going out for long rides, even if I wasn’t pushing, and really got what I hope was some really solid bike base fitness. I think I’m actually earlier in my bike progression for a 70.3 this year than I would be for a typical 70.3 cycle, which is good in many ways.  One being that this course is hilly- through some serious climbs in PA, and that is one of the hardest things in my opinion on a 70.3 is adding climbs to the bike which then just crushes the legs and body even more prior to the run.  I have been really focusing on leg/core/back and hip strength to be in the best place possible for the bike portion.

I have been consistently swimming once/week since I sprained the ankle- all with a pull buoy- UNTIL this past week! I finally could do a little kick without the pull buoy. I’ve been consistent and swimming really just all aerobic and continuous with pull buoy/paddles since I haven’t been able to kick. I feel like some of these changes are forced changes to get me into a different pattern of training than what has been my “go to” way of doing things.

My running was slow going getting back onto my feet, but I’m getting there in distance for sure. Speed?  Well, there isn’t much of that and that is absolutely A-OK with me. Goals have changed, my outlook and perspective is so much different than what it used to be, and I’m actually really thankful for it. I may not be reaching as intensely and tightly for my goals, but I’m trying to really enjoy the athlete life- the daily fun of following the plan, knowing that what I do DOES make a difference, and seeing that play out.

For my 70.3- MY GOALS:

*Swim solid and calm.

*Bike hard and relaxed while (calm again) and fuel consistently and smart throughout (energy management). 

*Run consistently with mental patience and fight.

I want to know that I Have done my training fully and without cutting corners.  That I have set myself and my training as a priority, done the work to my ability, and now I get to just go out and do my thing- the focus on race day will be on not giving away my energy mentally, being patient, and ENJOYING THE DAY.  If I remember to keep reminding myself that this is what I LOVE and ENJOYING the day, the new sights, the new to me course, and being curious with no expectations, it will lead me to my goals.

I know that there will be VERY BIG STRUGGLES physically and mentally during the race.  It is my job to train myself body and mind to get THROUGH these.  Not to not have them… because.. it is a half Ironman… it is not going to be easy, and I will not mislead myself into thinking that training will make something easy. Sometimes it is easy to think that way.  But no- there will be at least 1,2,3x that I have to dig deep within and WILL myself through. I will work on that grit in my training so that I Have the best possible chance to get through the rough patches.

I am highly cognizant that my goals seem to have no numbers, paces, finishing rankings, because I will know on the inside if I am happy with how the race is going and finished.

 

 

 

What is not working for you any longer?

 

What is not working for you any longer?

There is a Buddhist parable about a man trying to cross a swift moving river- he has no way to get across. He builds this great raft from twigs that saves his life and gets him across the river.  He ties it to his back, thinking, this saved my life, I will carry it with me always. He then begins to walk through a forest. Now the raft on his back is banging into things, trees, and limiting his progress. He comes to realize that even what once saved his life is now limiting him, and he needs to make a choice to either carry it and be limited, or let it go in, enabling him to move forward.

 

I was reminded of this parable the week after my therapist told me that maybe I could do some things differently than I always have.  That even though I’ve learned to build some walls over my life, that maybe I don’t need to anymore. That maybe I would be better off “softening” and trusting and not always going along with my guidebook on how to not get hurt.

Isn’t it always like this?  When something you need to hear arrives repeatedly in your eyeballs.  First, my therapist, then hearing this reminder from the raft parable. Then, a devotional on trust and love, then a yoga focus on stepping into curiosity of new ways. All right after each other.  I get the message.

It is so easy to follow the ways that we have lived our lifetimes. It is scary to slowly learn to release the reigns, discard the “rules” you built for yourself that have kept you safe and literally saved your life. I’ll be the first to say, I really like following these rules that do box me in, but also protect me in ways. And I also realize, I’m more in the forest now and the raft is totally banging on trees and dragging me backwards.

It is difficult to reprogram our way of thinking, activing and learning to be open to new ways.

It is difficult learning to be open, to have a greater sense of trust is at times against our survival instincts.

To learn that working to the death of you isn’t all that life is.

To experience the awakening of being able to sit with yourself in moments of ease, to even just sit STILL and not feel guilty for that.

To not follow the ridges of the path that you have carved over and over with repetition for a lifetime, to look in new places, to open eyes to even considering there may be another way.

If we remain tied to old ways of doing and communicating, we will not be able to move forward towards the change and growth that the people we have developed into now need. We are not the same person we were a year ago, 10 years ago or 40 years ago, so the same tools and rules don’t always apply.  When you look at someone and wonder why they are doing that thing that isn’t serving them, it is so easy to see from the outside (and judge), without knowing the story of their life, the story of how that developed.  

I’m in the hard work of being awake and noticing and trying to be open to some new ways in my life. I know I won’t be able to just snap and begin to live a different way (nor do I want to), but I owe it to myself and others around me to think really carefully about how I show up, how I don’t show up, how I open myself, how I protect myself, how I am in the world. It’s of course another gift of awareness and a privilege to do my best in this life I’ve been given.

 

What are you afraid of?

 

What are you afraid of?

4 weeks ago, I sprained my ankle.  It was horrible, actually.  I still sometimes flash back in my mind about the landing, the literal 90 degree angle that I found myself coming down on, along with the noise, which I was sure meant something had broken.

There was a pause where I was trying to gulp back the fall I had just taken…. Say it didn’t happen…. I didn’t want to reconcile in my head what this meant for all the plans I had coming up. I had just been sick for 2 weeks, winter has been excruciating cold, and the world… well. Let’s just say that there was a lot of despair and angst. I need to be able to move my body and have something that I love. And I was in the midst of training a teen athlete, so was quickly navigating how to cut the session short and hopefully he wouldn’t have to carry me up the stairs!

I got myself up the stairs, ice on and it was throbbing. It began swelling very quickly and I’ll admit, I was very quickly at work thinking forward despite what I think may have been a low dose shock. I was praying and emailing a few of my closest friends to please pray for me.  I stated that I was really scared, and could they pray for it to not be as bad as what I think it might be.

A sweet friend texted me back, asking me what I was scared of. The first blessing of this was that I knew how true and kind and caring a person she was, so I knew that it wasn’t meant as an accusation or snarky- like that I had nothing to be afraid of. I knew she genuinely wanted to know, so that she could pray for me.  The second blessing was in coming INTO myself to think and calm down and pause to actually answer that question. I was lying on the couch with my leg up and ice packs on it, and I remember realizing: OK- I can name this.  I am scared of #1. Not being able to work and 2. Not being able to exercise to keep myself mentally healthy.

All of a sudden, even though I was still scared, it seemed manageable.  I could name it. And in naming it, there was at least hope that, even if it was the worst possible, that those were the things that I would be addressing primarily, and I knew what I was facing.

This really opened my eyes to the power of taking a pause and taking things/feelings/fear one step further by acknowledging the underlying real and true fears. In handling anxiety in my life- so related and intertwined in fear, I know I could be helped by pausing and naming it. Addressing it more specifically, named and directly- something defined, rather than a huge feeling of doom and intense weight on my being.

For athletes, including myself, before races- that feeling of fear/trepidation/nervousness… could also be addressed and looked at square in the eye.  What are you nervous about? If I am feeling nervous about the swim, I can address that, self-talk myself through the fact that I have done all the training that I knew was the right thing.  If someone is nervous they will underperform compared to expectations, there can be a conversation and acknowledgement of the things that need addressing there. So simple, yet so profound.

For exercisers that are just beginning a new workout program, personal training sessions, format of a group class that are feeling intimidated- even then- addressing the tension of unknowing, stepping into something new, can be attended to by speaking truth to feelings.

These days, our world is full of uncertainty. Most of us are feeling fear. And maybe there is the opportunity here also as I’ve learned in the past 4 weeks to say to the big feelings, Hello big cloud of uncertainty, the top things I fear in this cloud are……And in those things, we can take some action.  Action alleviates anxiety. We can do this.

Beyond having a life lesson in being specific/naming fear, it was a big hug to my heart- that I had the gift of someone digging deeper and asking me that question. There was trust on both sides that it could be asked and received😊 Blessings even in the sprained ankle department.

SHOWING UP FULLY FOR MYSELF

 

AM I SHOWING UP FOR MYSELF?

WELLLLLLL…….After writing the last blog post…. I was in for a rude awakening when I sprained my ankle.

My last post was about racing in 2025 and I was going to do a half marathon in Richmond after having the flu. Not so fast.  I am sidelined from running.

First: the sprain. I’ve sprained that ankle previously (in 1994, so 31 years ago!) and also broke 2 bones in that foot in that incident.  I had a cast on (this was my first year at uva, so it was highly memorable crutching around campus because I of course, being me, refused to take the bus). Anyway, I have had no foot problems in the time since, thankfully.  I think of my ankles and feet honestly as unbelievably strong.  Next time you watch any gymnastics on TV, watch the close ups of the gymnasts feet on the balance beam.  Those toes are like GRIPPERS. Anyway, long story short, I was training someone, doing high single leg jumps with them and, I must have been distracted or I have no idea, I literally came down AT 90 degrees on my ankle. I heard it.  I thought it was broken. I was frozen in shock and wanted to puke and also essentially was still working… ha… so I quickly ended that session- it was just 5 minutes to go, dragged myself to my freezer for ice and still had my eyes bugging out of me thinking, can I Just go back and NOT DO THAT??!!!

So, I cannot backtrack.  I cannot run for approx. 4 weeks apparently. And so I’m highly bummed about that.  I’m bummed because I love it, because I have plans, because I Had spent January and February until I got the flu really training myself solid and getting into a fitness level that I was proud to be consistently working at. AND, I know I’ll lose my run fitness. HOWEVER…. Within 24 hours, I thankfully, was able to adjust my mindset to an athlete’s mindset that I try to follow when I am coaching people who are injured or at a setback.  It is disappointing, but you can ALWAYS LOOK TO THE OPPORTUNITY.  So, I made myself do the same thing.  What is the opportunity here, Sharon? How can I continue to FULLY SHOW UP day to day for myself.

And: there is an opportunity.  There are MANY.

There is an opportunity to train much harder and more consistently on the bike.  I don’t have to “share” my training time with running right now, so I can really get in some good hours on the bike. I can do an “experiment” in what it is like training harder on the bike than on the run.

There is an opportunity for strength and more core and more other things that I love (handstands and yoga).

And this is a chance to practice handling hard things. (I mean, there is frankly enough hard things going on in the world and my life already at the moment and I don’t really need this addition, but here it is, so… I will learn from this). I will practice being resilient with my mindset, not giving up, but just taking a pivot and side road to get to the same destination.  I am seeing the positives- OH MY GOODNESS I realize how lucky I am: so lucky this did not happen in the summer, lucky it wasn’t closer to my marathon in Kauai, lucky it didn’t happen when I was hiking by myself on a mountain in Kauai! GOSH, I do feel thankful for those things AS WELL AS EVEN MORE INSPIRED to do all the rehab- all the things in my power to make sure that I have done my work in strengthening these ligaments that are now more susceptible to a future sprain and ankle roll. So, I’m on it.  I’m fired up. Last blog post, I wrote from this place of calm contentment in my training and outcomes.  I am now fiercely and furiously motivated to attack my days with all the things possible that I can do to get back on track, in the short term and in the long term. I feel almost like I am being reminded of who I am in my core, my essence, the days of Sharon the one who will rise to strength and not let disappointments be the end of my story.

I’m excited and interested to see where this takes me.

For now, I’ll be on my bike, in the pool with a pull buoy, and staying strong, SHOWING UP FULLY FOR MYSELF.

RACING INTO 2025

 

RACING INTO 2025.

Well, here I am, 2 months into 2025.

I have a race scheduled for next weekend- one I’ve been really excited for- the Richmond ½. I’ve never done it before, I love Richmond, I love doing new races, I love having a REASON to be on my treadmill for long distances in the winter. And I have done that WEEKLY. I’ve been proud of my weekly commitment to my training plan and listening to my body, pushing myself, being fully consistent.  I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I’ve been working hard.

I also have been sick the past near 2 weeks. Not sure what it started with, but it hammered me again 4 days ago and I tested positive for flu b. And I’m at this point not pushing a single thing. I just want to honor the sickness and heal well.

That leaves me unsure of next weekend.

Goals, purposes, intentions obviously are changed. And that is ok. As long as it is healthy, I am honestly completely aware of my need to listen to my body and do the very right thing.  So, that means, I have to open my mind to the possibility of going to this event and maybe literally just jogging my way through 13.1 miles.  Even doing that might in all honesty be quite a success. 6 days away and today I’m not even going to jog a mile because I know my lungs are not ready though, so there is also the possibility that I may not be able to healthily go and do this thing. Which is also something I need to begin settling in my head and heart.  I don’t like one bit signing up for a race that I don’t do.  (I’ve unfortunately done this previously and not loved it. Those are different stories- but there was a reston triathlon that I signed up for, drove to the parking lot and it was pouring and I Just thought, this is not my idea of fun and I WENT BACK HOME! I’ll never forget that! Also there was a wine country half marathon that was pouring rain and I decided to skip because it was just going to be a drenched mud slog and again, I just don’t regret missing those 2 events!)

So, I had begun my year training strong, have had a health setback, and now I am preparing to pivot into an unknown week of just being open to finding what is right for me. I of course am not someone who loves not sticking with a plan, not KNOWING what is coming up, and also not being able to plan day by day as I am kind of just listening to how I feel right now. It is life and overall, I’m lucky to have this setback now rather than in the summer.  (please I am praying so fervently to not be sick during summer or before my aug/sept travel!)

So, this only brings me to what I need to keep my feet on: what are the things I can control right now. And those are:

*WRITING THIS: it helps me make sense of things and be measured and to sort things out in my head and heart.

*EATING HEALTHY, DRINKING LOTS OF FLUIDS, RESTING, CALMING MY NERVOUS SYSTEM, doing anything I can for immunity.

*GETTING OTHER THINGS DONE NOW.  I am not spending hours on my feet right now, so I can spend some of that time getting other things done that I don’t want to when it is summer and I’m in top mode fitness function.

 

So those things will get me through this initial beginning of March frustration with having been sick and I know I need to look FURTHER FORWARD now.

BIG GOAL OF THE YEAR RACING WISE IS: to stay fit and healthy through the summer so that I can run the Kauai marathon at the end of August.

I am registered for ½ IM (70.3) in PA which is a NEW TO ME race (in mid June) and I’m intrigued by it and excited to have it on the calender. It is a hilly bike and run.  I have no goals of being fast in this race, my goal is to train to complete it well. Obviously it is going to be hard, I know I won’t “feel well” through the whole thing, but I want to be strong enough to grit through it and be stronger because I trained consistently and hard through the next 3 months (starting asap after this health setback) and also the race itself is always another notch in fitness.  You will always be stronger after completing a race.

So then I will have 10 weeks until marathon to take a step back week and recover from 70.3 and then carry on with my long runs, swim/strength/cycling.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to do 2 of my favorite races (Luray Tri as well as Annapolis 10 Miler) because I don’t know yet when my kids will be moving into college this fall and we will have 2 of those move in times, so that is just off the radar for now.

I love doing Wine Country 1/2  which is 5/31, however I am not yet registered and have this hesitation because it is around the time of graduation, end of school year, so much with schedules and I know I’ll be also trying to get long bike rides in. So, that “filler, fun run” is being considered, as well as Culpeper Tri which was just one of my FAVORITE DAYS of last years summer! I’ll see how things are going, I just don’t want to over-reach and in any way jeopardize my ability to run in Kauai.

Now, I want to cycle back to the interesting thing about this years races. It is not escaping me that I just don’t have this huge urge to “perform”. Like I want to BE FIT.  I want to get out and do hard things and struggle and do my best in training each day of my plan so that I am in the best possible shape on race day.  However, for example, in Kauai- I do not intend to blast my body. (a marathon will be enough of a blast). I’d like to run without walking, HOWEVER, I am completely open to the possibility of walking and pausing and reveling in my surroundings.  And that seems to be really my thought for the 70.3PA race also- I want to have no doubts that I did my work in preparation and I want to work hard on race day, but more importantly, safely and smart. I just find it interesting that there really isn’t even a percentage of me that thinks “RACE MINDSET”. I feel happy to be engaging in the sports I enjoy, mostly so that each week, I get to get out for my intensity run intervals that I like to do, some hill repeats, some easy and aerobic fun times, my long workouts on the weekends. I’m proud of myself to not be scared to be slower than I ever have been. I feel as if my mental standpoint is at a place of “intensity in the training and build- get gritty in the day to day, so that I can revel in the feeling of fitness and awe at my events”!

As always, writing this was helpful to myself, to iron out some thoughts along the way. I think it may not be the most organized writing, but it sure did organize what are my benchmarks of fun for the year!