Tuesday, February 19, 2019

What do you get to do?

Last fall, I began something that has been really nurturing to my soul.  I had been kind of “losing” myself it felt—a confusion of- “why am I so tired, where is my typical motivation, who am I, I’m bored” and so on.  Days felt more like drudgery. Every morning to wake up was just ughhhhhh…. But….. take me to the beach and I wake up like a firecracker!  I’m not tired there, I have my typical light and my fire and my heart just exudes what feels more natural to me as peace and joy.   I am so thankful and grateful.  I couldn’t figure out why I kept acting so negatively in my “real life.”  It felt like a moment too simplistic to end up making a difference, but I decided to each day wake up and remind myself “what I am so lucky to get to do today,” and then at night also- look forward to the next day to remind myself what I am so lucky to do the following day.  I was hoping to make this more of the fabric of my brain, how I think naturally and instead of being overwhelmed by schedules, driving, planning, remind myself how THOSE VERY THINGS WERE THE THINGS THAT I WAS PSYCHED FOR!

It has made a world of a difference!  And in fact, it was all super ridiculously straightforward because it isn’t that I had to plan something different in my day, it was more a reminder that I LOVE my days.  Even if they are busy, they are filled really with things I LOVE!

All it took was reminding myself how:

*I was so lucky to get to train people that I love working with

*I am so lucky to do the work I love, believe in, and SEE makes a difference in people’s lives!

*I am so lucky to have dogs to cuddle with, walk, pick up their poop even, haha… I am just so lucky for these angels that I do truly thank God for them every single day.

*I am so lucky to have a family that I need to feed, keep snacks for, get to places, that we get to spend time together getting to those places, the small conversations are what life is made up of, and even these little moments aren’t really moments of stress, but really FULL LIFE MOMENTS that are my privilege!

*I am so lucky to be able to go for a run… I never “have to run”--- I should always say to myself, I GET TO RUN today!  What a freedom in so many ways.  Instead of letting my weekly workout mileage, or numbers/sets/paces for a workout overwhelm, scare and turn my feelings to uptightness and fear, let go of that and just remember the essence of what it comes down to! I LOVE RUNNING (biking and swimming and everything else active I choose to do!)

*just because I love so many things and try to fit it all in- doesn’t make it stressful!  I have tons of hobbies and things I love! I often confuse that with a weird sense of unease that I won’t be able to get my whole plan for the day accomplished.

*and overall, I’m so lucky to have pockets of minutes that I can use for self care, seeing friends, being silent and still, full of presence in order to recharge.  That is not laziness, there is nothing wrong with me, I am LUCKY to allow myself to pause now and then to regroup and recharge so I can live from a place of being centered and strong.
So, I ask to any of you reading this....
What are you so lucky to "get to do" today?!

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