Tuesday, October 13, 2015


She liked what she saw…
My best friend gave me an inspirational book for my 40th birthday that I feel so honored to have been given.  I read the words and look at the pictures and to think that she thought of me means the world.

“One day, she stepped back and took a look at her life.  

A long, close look.  As though it were a city she loved and she was flying high above it, so high that she could see the whole thing. 
And she realized something:




Wow.  That is just the first two pages.  How powerful.
How I treasure that I can say these words.
I like what I see.   These words are not easy for me to say.  I have a history of some low self confidence.  Maybe it is that I am now beginning  my 40th year of life….. not that I think I am old and wise… but… I might just be growing into myself.  (To some levels, haha.. still lots of work to do!)  But I like what I see internally.  I like my passion, my meaning, my drive, my loves.  I see the messiness and I still like itJ
I like where I’ve been.   Even if I haven’t always liked it when I’m in it.  Life’s never easy.  That is not the point and not what I seek.  I can accept that, with the knowledge that I have always done my best and lived according to my values.  I wouldn’t change most things that I have experienced- they have created my current reality.  I like that I’ve given my all in so many situations, beginning from my earliest years.  Many of my goals haven’t been realized, dreams haven’t come to fruition, but damn damn damn, I’ve tried.  I’ve learned so much, seen so much, been devastated by so much,  surprised by so much and thrilled to the ends of my being.   I’ve been beaten down, but lifted back up.  I’ve been discouraged, but muddled through…. Miserably at times… step by step…. Both literally and figuratively…..
 I am still me, through these places I’ve been.
 I’ve grown in spurts it seems…. Sometimes as much in one day as one whole year.  I am a changed me, smarter me, more broken me, more strengthened and humbled me.  I have answered to my heart, making decisions that answer the call I have heard from my God.  I wouldn’t change things that have hurt me, and am full of unending gratitude for so much that has been a dream come true.
I like where I’m going.   At this time, I like that I feel hope and a future.  I do get in funks where I doubt this, but right now, at a deep level, I know I will continue with all of the above- living in my world… in competition with no one…. Answering my calling…. Loving my children and husband….. always working to be aware and intentional…. Being humble enough to tweak things I do when I see that they are not working….. reacting with thought and in line always with my beliefs, trusting my character with the resilience that I have found within…. With the fact that I am now okay.   I think I survived.  Changed, but still me…

**Text and pictures from page 2, “Today, Tomorrow & Everyday.”  M.H. Clark

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