BOTH YES AND NO!

 

Both YES and NO

I turn 50 years old this year and I have a list of 50 things that I am excited to do in the year.  It’s somewhat a year of saying “YES” to things that I’ve hesitated on, put aside as a non-priority, and now I’m deciding to be unapologetically prioritizing these experiences, memories and opportunities. I am reminding myself to very much say YES to delights, curiosities and things that tug at my heart and stir my soul. I think saying yes can be important, even when sometimes it is scary, when it feels self-indulgent, or even unnecessary. So, at the beginning of the new year, it’s been exciting to turn the page and go after some of my “bucket list” items and pursue some of the goals I have for the year.

It is always so controversial (eye roll) talking about new year, new years resolutions, those who believe in setting “resolutions” and those who say, you are fine and worthy as you are!  AND YES, I also believe that we are worthy as we are! We don’t need to become more or less of ourselves to be worthy.  AND I also believe that it is hugely gratifying to many people to live in an intentional way, aware of our highest aspirations!  To work towards our truest self, towards our highest visions, and what is important to us!  So, I just refuse to hear, honestly, how resolutions are bad, that they set us up to devalue ourselves. I think, on the other hand, it shows how much we value every day as a way to live our lives with heart awareness.

I wonder sometimes if the word “resolution” is part of the problem. I think the word resolution can be confused with willpower—like I am going to WILL MYSELF against all my might to… make this thing happen… that is so hard and against the grains of my bones.  Like giving something up for the 40 days of Lent- I resolve to eat no chocolate or to cut something out, or I resolutely promise to make something more important to me than it really is.

I don’t think of my “Yes’s” or my new years “resolutions” as a matter of WILLPOWER, but rather a matter of delight and desire.  I want to work my way towards this goal.  I want to try to swing on a trapeze and try new things, so I will honor myself and do these things!

I recognize that, for myself at least, sometimes it is scary to say YES to something.  It makes me vulnerable to admit I have a goal, and I want to work towards it. Of course it is vulnerable to have a goal, but that doesn’t mean it is wrong, or bad, or that I am not honoring myself in the present moment!

I think it is important at times in our life to say YES even when we are scared. And, on the flip side, I think it is equally important to learn, practice and be brave enough to say NO. Sometimes NO is even braver. The day of my trapeze class, a young girl was there and presumably wanted to try swinging on the trapeze.  For the entire 2-hour class, she got up the ladder, stood there, began to cry, and came back down (the ladder…. Not off the trapeze). And, if I’m being honest, I had to think that she may have been the bravest of all that day. What courage it takes to say, especially when you are the only one, (maybe some of the current US Senators should take notice), no, this is not right for me, and my brave is a resounding NO for today. I trust myself enough to say NO.  In fact, in order to say YES, sometimes you need to say NO to other things that are in the way. Maybe spending my time scrolling social media is getting in the way of other things that are more of a priority for me and I need to say NO to some of the time I find myself wasting.

So, I write this with excitement for the Yes’s and the No’s to come!  The journey towards goals, the energy and spark that it gives me to have a path… a path that can of course be shifted, reoriented and changed, but let’s see what some of the new adventures bring!

 

What are you saying YES to this year? What are you saying NO to?